We all say our goodbyes ... eventually :'(

OCTOBER 14TH 2008

10:59 A.M

Well , in case you're wondering , I just had a fight with my best friend .
Best ... best friend .
And I know I'm overly sensitive at times , and I'm not gonna blame this one on him , although I know that he did some things that hurt me too . 

This is not a first . 
I mean , this happened already , and I really hate whenever it get repeated over and over- 
Well , let me tell you just one-fourth of my mistake . 
I don't know why but the thing with him is , if I don't like something that he does , I keep it to myself . And when I just had enough of it , I 'explode' . 
You know ? 

And I know (now) that I was wrong that I didn't tell him at first whenever I feel I dislike something that he did . 
I was trying to be the bigger person here , I said I was sorry . 

I don't like being in this state of feeling , because I hate the fact that he never realizes whenever I'm pissed off , and I have to tell him whenever I am , but at the same time , I don't wanna lose him T_T 
And I hate that this is not a first , and so this is like the hundredth , and the worst was probably last year around August when he said "Thanks for everything , have a nice life !" 
It hit me so hard I was like ... :'( :'( :'(

I can't stand losing people , you know ? 
And to be this close after 3 years of friendship , it hurts so bad that it has to end a week before his birthday :'(

And so I told him I was sorry and that I kept on repeating the mistakes over and over again- 
I told him that I'm sorry I was never the best friend he expected . 

Too much drama , huh ?
I realized that , too . 
See , I have enough drama with my friends , and even family . 
I don't think I could spare some more by having a friggin boyfriend . 
Haha :p
Oh well .....
I guess this is goodbye ...






P.S : I love you ;'(

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