Faces, blushes, and all those silly crushes

I came up with a cute topic, don't you agree? ;p 

Na'ah, it's just some random sentence I came up with when I was browsing through pictures. I think I'm gonna name my first album when it come out after this topic. Which will be, in less than 20 years. Hopefully. 
Ha! 

Gosh, Nad. Can you be more random? 

Out to another topic that is not so random! Jason Mraz is coming to Jakarta, but in this upcoming March. Don't know if I can make it by then. I really want to, though. I rarely go out for concerts. I don't really like to splurge on concert tickets. I mean, I don't really want to ask for money when it comes to concert tickets, because they usually cost a lot. So when I want to go out to a concert, usually I save money from my allowance and use my own money. And another good thing is that my brother is not into the whole concert things too. So if someone asked me if I am going to this or that concert, I could say "Nope, my brother isn't going, so I don't feel like going either." Hahaha :p 
He said that concerts are somehow a waste of money, and when you or I became famous, you'll get to see those artists that you want to see for free. Or even better, a VIP! 
Oh, before I forgot, welcome to a family made up of dreamers ;) 

Speaking of money, I have been thinking of getting a job. A descent one. I should stop begging for money, especially when it comes to personal needs. For 16 years of life, I should be thankful enough to my parents who have been undertaking the job for preparing nice houses and rides. I need to pay them back ASAP ;) My cousin has been working since she was 13. Now she has her own ride, pays her own University tuition, and also pays her own bills. I should do the same, should really be responsible for myself. Future is on its way. 
It's going to be less than 5 years 'til I reach 20. 3 years and 6 months to be exact. 

*sigh*
Just keep me updated, people.
<3

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Disconnected

God bless Indonesia. 

God bless this country and the mobile technology. By all these blessings coming out of my mouth seem like I have had a wonderful week? I might say so, but not too wonderful, I'll add. 
It's just every time I want to send a text, it always seems to be a struggle. Either it fails, or it just doesn't deliver to the recipient. I guess I'll have to deal with it. 

My mobile kept on turning off on me! I don't know what's wrong with it, I mean, I never dropped it (on purpose that is), or do whatever that might ruin it. I mean, I can be really clumsy, but I would never destroy my own belongings on purpose. 

Okay so today I traveled all around the world. I mean, on TV. I went to New York, Rome, France, etc. Saw all the yummy food that is popular there. God, I would want to travel. Please. 
I've been a Discovery Travel & Living fan lately. I have serious thoughts about being a cook, that I literally have been in the kitchen for the past few days, and cook. YES, COOK! 
Not that I'm bad at it, I just don't want to cook, unless really needed. Like when I live alone. That is when my inner chef came out! I am really good at mixing food up. Throw me a couple of wheat bread and some sprinklers, I can make you a birthday cake! 
But, no, I really want to learn how to cook. Like how to make roast duck, and other complicated feast, not like the not-so creative birthday cake made up of wheat bread. Cooking skills are necessary, especially if building a family is part of the plan. Impressing future-in-laws is a part of the frightening future, right? 

Okay, I'm starting to wander off the topic. Wait, what was the topic again? 
Oh, yeah, nothing. Well, umm, talking 'bout all this food made me hungry. 
Ciao!
Keep it fresh, people :)

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End of January

One thing I learned about this week is I have to smile, even when I don't feel like smiling. Another thing is that, when you try to do new things, whenever someone offer you an opportunity, and you take it, it could change your life. 


I'm sad that Heroes is done with its third season. Forth season isn't going to be out until next month. That is, in the United States. My friend said I could watch it by streaming on a website like YouTube but I don't think my love for Heroes is huge enough to waste my internet on any web streaming. And hey, I can wait :p This is good. I mean, it tests my patience level. 

Next month is February, and guess what's on the line? Valentine's day. 
Not that I'm looking forward to it or anything, but it just indicates that I'm single for the last 16 years. Woot2x. That's something to celebrate! :p 

Well, uhh, I was just in the mood to write a post. I gotta go... do something. Hahaha
Spread the loveee! 
XOXOX

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Different is (not) always acceptable

It's pretty tough living in a diverse-cultural family. Sometimes I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I mean, it's pretty complicated to tell people what my ethnicity is, not because I don't want to answer, but because quite frankly, I don't even know what the heck is my own ethnicity.If I'm being classified into a certain race, I wouldn't know what to pick, 'cause I would say it's Indonesian-Chinese-Dutch, which is kinda..... strange, 'cause I'm a little bit of everything.

My friends are made up of different cultural backgrounds as well, and I love them to death, but I don't really feel like I fit in as well, in some cases. I'm the kind of person who's pretty good at hiding feelings, so I blend in really well with them, but sometimes there's just this emptiness of 'not fitting in.'

I have an experience of being 'differentiated' because of my own ethnicity, some of you may have realized how Chinese and native Indonesians are somewhat like the 'White and Black people' issue in America. I have equal amounts of friends from both sides, they're all awesome, but sometimes I hate it when they set barriers on who to be friends with, you know? I'm always like, okay, I'm gonna hang out with my 'white friends' or alright, I'm gonna hang out with my 'black friends', 'cause many of them just don't blend well. Some of them do, but most of them just don't. 

I feel like I fit in with the 'white friends' just because of my fair skin, which made me look a whole lot like Chinese. But what blows the whole 'Chinese' cover-- is my eyes. I have this huuuuuge pair of eyes (sigh) which made me a whole lot like a 'native Indonesian', and I get teased and made fun of, you see, because I'm a little bit of both. 

The silliest thing is, a guy once said he "can't be with me" just because I'm not 'Chinese' enough for him. Huge eyes, yeah, I can see that is such a ginormous issue. Thanks, anyways. You did me a favor. It hurts at first, 
but I found out that a guy who doesn't want me for who I am, doesn't deserve me for all that I'm made up of.

No matter what your background is, where you came from, what your skin color, hair color, eye size, or whatever physical appearance you have, should be in the way of anything; a friendship or a relationship. Race is such an issue, when I think it should have never been. Race issues are pretty sensitive, but I'm not afraid to tell it like it is.

So, please people, out with the race issues?

:)

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All I need is One Shot

"Everything that you've always dreamed of,

Close enough for you to taste, but you just can't touch,
You wanna show the world but no one knows your name yet,
You wonder when and where and how you gonna make it,
You know you can, if you get the chance"
- One Step at a Time
Jordin Sparks

It's going to happen when it's suppose to happen. One step at a time. 
The rules I live by to live life. It really works, it does make you understand the prize out of waiting and being patient, the glory when you raise from the down side of life. Every people has their 'now' moment. The moment that will truly turn their life around. I don't know how, when, or where, neither do you. Unless your 'moment' has happened. 

Everyone will get to experience it, eventually. I have heard amazing, inspiring stories about it, and it's incredible. Some lives where changed overnight, some people might take a little longer like a year, or shorter, like a month. Think about yours, what do you want your life to turn out life? 

This month has really been a roller coaster. Cliche, you might think? 
Ha, it might be. My life is going to change in just a snap. It will. 
Wait for it (;

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A new change will start from today

So tonight is the night. Well, actually it'll be in the afternoon in D.C. , but it'll be midnight here in Indonesia. Obama's Inauguration Day. Today's the day, people. 

It must be about 7 a.m in D.C , Mr. Barack Obama must've kept himself awake knowing tomorrow, the weight of the world is going to be put on his shoulders. I would want to comment on that, but gosh, where should I start? 

I do hope the best for him, as the leader of the U.S.A, so that the choices that he make will be based on wise judgment and critical thinking. It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it. People are supporting him because they believe that he's capable. The real question is, is he? 
We're about to find out. The worst time of the U.S like now, needs the best person to handle the nation. 

One thing about Obama is that he stands out. As I said before, someone who wants to make a difference, has to be different. So, good luck, Mr. Obama. I have faith in you. 
It's a new day...

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Where is the love?

An old song, but still, has so much meaning in its lyrics. The media has been nothing but all the people hating, fighting, being in a situation that do no good but to harm themselves. 


The war and the anger that's thrown into others, man, they gotta stop. Seriously. 

Many people said that without all the 'drama' that happens in our daily lives, life wouldn't be complete. What's the matter with peace? Is it really that hard to love one another? Stop with the race issues, and start with the equality. You are not any higher than the person that has different skin color than you, or has less money than you do. 

I know how it feels like to be isolated. Being in a multi-cultural environment is not easy. Different race doesn't mean that someone worth more than another, different race means that it's beautiful. It's a law of nature, and you can't fight against nature. Like the colors of the rainbow, none of the color is the same, yet it makes such a beautiful view when it's combined altogether :)

I do believe in a peaceful tomorrow, and that we can take part by not discriminating others. What is it with riot and chaos that make this world a better place? Ever wondered what living in a world full of peace feels like? It doesn't include any disturbance or turbulence with one another, I can tell you that much. So, how about it, guys? :D



"But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah

Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all"


- Where is the love?
Black Eyed Peas

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Possession you value most?

We have variable answers. Some of you may answer your laptop, or it might be your iPod or mp3 player, or even your mobile phone, I don't know, you'll have your own answer. The reason you value a certain possession is because it's something you find very useful, and you love it so much that sometimes when people use it, or misuse it, you'd be very angry. 


So I'm trying to find what really value most to me. I got the answer yesterday when I was helping out mom at a social service. I wasn't planning to go until about 11 p.m the night before, then I decided to go there to help out. I realized that what I have to value most is already given to me from birth. My very own arms and feet. You can do so much with it. I've never seen people being so thankful in my whole life. The people that I get to help out live a very simple life, they make a living by breeding pigs to sell out their meat. The place smells quite bad, but got used to it after a couple of hours :) 

Everyone has arms and feet, but not many of them value those. They think that those are just ordinary parts of the body, so what? They missed out on making the most out of it. You can help out people by something that you possess so it'll not only be useful to you, it'll be useful to others too. So starting from today, why not walk an extra mile or two to just do something useful for someone? Lend a hand, you don't know that a small thing you do can even save a life of another. Smile to someone you don't know, show that you care, they'll see that someone out there, randomly, express a warm, friendliness character out of someone they don't know. 



So if you want to make a difference, be different :)

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H.O.P.E

It's not a big word, and yet, it brings so much burden. Hoping gets tiring; I hope too much until I personally think I couldn't be bothered to hope anymore. Emo, much? 


'Cheer up, cheer up!' 

Na'ah, it won't work this time. I'm not my own motivator all the time, there's a down-side to life, I know this happens, sometimes I just need to feel so bad about hoping 'til I hope I could 'hope again.' 
Weird, huh? Well, it works for me! :p
Even my iTunes is kind of a mood detector. It's on 'Suffocate- J Holiday'. Great, like that's the one song I would want to hear when I'm down.

'...I'm going out of my mind...'

I think I really am. Gahhh- 
Just in case some of you won't know (which I highly infer you don't), the name 'Nadia' means 'Hope'. Oh yea, just when you think it doesn't get any better, it just did. The burden of 'carrying' such a big meaning to a name, really does get into my head. 
If every name has meanings and it's suppose to 'label' the person, why am I not feeling any 'benefit' from it? As a matter of fact, I feel that I lose hope easily, and that I tend to think that there's no answer to the 'questions' that I have in life. 

When? Where? How? What? Why? 
No, not that Indonesian Language lesson in making a good paragraph. Those are the questions that I really need to be answered in my life. Well, I guess you'll never know what's going to happen next. 



...you'll never know.....

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'The truth hurts, and lies worse...'

I have been playing it over and over for like, say, 10 times today? Yes, that James Morrison song (feat. Nelly Furtado) has been haunting my ears for a few hours today. It tells about how a relationship is coming to an end. Good song, good song indeed. 


Okay, so, I'm still pissed that I missed out on my friend's birthday party last Saturday, was looking forward to go and everything, but had to cancel on the last minute :( 

On the bright side, watched Yes Man last Sunday. Freaking hilarious! :) It tells about how we should always focus on positive things in life, and say yes to every opportunity that's offered to us (not too keen about this point of the movie). Although I find some of the scenes ridiculous, but it's alright :) 

I really miss this one person in my mind. I really did regret doing all the stupid things I did in the past, although it wasn't completely my fault. I really want to start off fresh on where we left off, but I guess that's just another dream I have to put on hold. Before he headed back home to where he lives currently, I texted him by saying that out of the crushes I had, he is the hardest to get rid off (in my mind, that is, even 'til now). He didn't reply, maybe he was still in shock, or he just didn't know what to say, or how to respond to it. I wasn't really expecting him to reply and say that he still feels the same way or whatever, well I thought he would've responded, to say the least. I don't even know what's the reason behind me not being able to forget about him, I mean, it is pretty easy for some people to just forget if they're in my case, mostly because I don't get to meet him and all, I just can't seem to put the feelings away. 

...dor!
I miss you :( 



'...it's like chasing the very last train, but it's too late...'
- Broken Strings

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...too...much...pressure...

It's barely a month after turning 09, and the drama in my life is nothing near to the word decreasing. Guess the stronger you become, the tougher the tests in your life, aren't they? It's hard to see the silver lining when the clouds are too grey. I believe in miracles and that they happen, although they don't come along that often. Because, to be honest the miracle I need in life is quite a lot. 

God might think that I'm a brat for having so many questions and requests, but just like a normal teen who would be such pain in the ass for her dad, I'm doing just that, being a normal teen. 

I've been complaining a lot these days, you wanna know why? Because I've been seeing the people around me, living MY dream. Seems too unfair. 
The people on the list are:
- Vanessa Anne Hudgens, for having the ability to dance, sing, and gets to date Zac Efron. On top of that, she gets paid to do all of the above. Do you really need any more proof that life's unfair? 
- Oprah Winfrey, for having the power to talk and the power to make people listen. Gets to do the thing she loves-- to meet famous & amazing people -- AND GET PAID FOR EVERY FRIGGIN SECOND OF IT. 
- JoJo, for having God-given talents of singing, and is known to be Shia Labeouf's-rumor-girlfriend

Okay, so they're not really 'around me.' But well, they pretty much flooded my TV with their oh-so-amazing life, so that counts as being 'around' as well, doesn't it? That's their 'now', you know, their time of shine, their moment. When's mine? 
Giving up is never an option, it's too close to reach that it will be too pitiful to just let go. 
I will never forget the conversation I had with a friend of mine on the 7th of January, he said, "You don't need to be smart, you just need to be tough." Which I find so true, and just gave me a glimpse of light, that what I really want to do, none of this has to do with money, it's all about doing what I love, and be happy about it. 

Dancing and singing, and acting, there are tons of other people who do those things better than me, but does that stop me from doing it? Just because I realize that there's people who are willing to do better than me, now that would be a ridiculous excuse to give in, now wouldn't it? Just like loving someone, the only way you should really love someone is being fully aware that there's someone out there who can love the person you love, more than you do. So, I am aware, that there's tons of other dancers, actresses, singers, who can work it better than I do, but guess what, I do it anyways. Despite I might not be the best at it, but you know what, I love doing it. 

So, to the people who genuinely believed in me, thank you. And to the person who 'inspired' me on the 7th of Jan '09, I promise to mention you when I got my first Golden Globe :) 

Hey I can dream, can I! :p

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Blawwwg

I haven't blog in quite some time, have I? Well this past month has been, insane. I meet up with an education agent and I need to get a move on my TOEFL to prepare myself on college applications. And when I say I need to get a move, I mean I need to get a move FAST!


Sheez, the thought of the future frightens me, HORRIFYING! Anyways, Merry (belated) Christmas and Happy New Year's everyone!!! :) 

Christmas, I spent the day on a road trip, out of town, with my BFFFFF (who knows how many F's I could type for her :p). Had tons of fun, took even more pictures, have like dozens of albums to upload on Facebook :D 
New Year's, I spent the day shopping for food, preparing for the BBQ party at a friend's place, ate like crazy, the food was crazier, there were tons of junk food! Didn't get the chance to close my eyes to rest, went swimming at 1 a.m til' like 4 a.m. And the day afterwards, I broke down. Had to go to the doctor, and the doctor said I was just too tired. Tell me about it. Like I need a doctor to tell me that. 

Things to look forward to this month, meeting with old friends, having to prepare for college, and meet up with more friends. Umm, can't think of anything interesting. 

It's 2009 and people are starting to talk. I should get a hold of a relationship, so I've been told. So what, I'm 16 and never been kissed, big deal? Well of course I'm turning 17 this year, but who the heck cares of what others think? Even my mom is trying to set me up with her friend's sons. Creepy much?

Thoughts of '09 include: Suppress the (sometimes) 'out-of-control' moodiness. Make my own money. Achieve the dreams that have been haunting my mind. And, umm, the list goes on, of course. Just can't think of any stuffs to write again at the moment. I'm trying to be a daily blogger, but it's hard to just take the time off to think and write. Things are always in the way, such as, let's just say, FACEBOOK. LOL

Well uhh okay, I have to go back to my work, which is Facebook-ing :p
Later, peeps! <3

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