Different is (not) always acceptable

It's pretty tough living in a diverse-cultural family. Sometimes I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I mean, it's pretty complicated to tell people what my ethnicity is, not because I don't want to answer, but because quite frankly, I don't even know what the heck is my own ethnicity.If I'm being classified into a certain race, I wouldn't know what to pick, 'cause I would say it's Indonesian-Chinese-Dutch, which is kinda..... strange, 'cause I'm a little bit of everything.

My friends are made up of different cultural backgrounds as well, and I love them to death, but I don't really feel like I fit in as well, in some cases. I'm the kind of person who's pretty good at hiding feelings, so I blend in really well with them, but sometimes there's just this emptiness of 'not fitting in.'

I have an experience of being 'differentiated' because of my own ethnicity, some of you may have realized how Chinese and native Indonesians are somewhat like the 'White and Black people' issue in America. I have equal amounts of friends from both sides, they're all awesome, but sometimes I hate it when they set barriers on who to be friends with, you know? I'm always like, okay, I'm gonna hang out with my 'white friends' or alright, I'm gonna hang out with my 'black friends', 'cause many of them just don't blend well. Some of them do, but most of them just don't. 

I feel like I fit in with the 'white friends' just because of my fair skin, which made me look a whole lot like Chinese. But what blows the whole 'Chinese' cover-- is my eyes. I have this huuuuuge pair of eyes (sigh) which made me a whole lot like a 'native Indonesian', and I get teased and made fun of, you see, because I'm a little bit of both. 

The silliest thing is, a guy once said he "can't be with me" just because I'm not 'Chinese' enough for him. Huge eyes, yeah, I can see that is such a ginormous issue. Thanks, anyways. You did me a favor. It hurts at first, 
but I found out that a guy who doesn't want me for who I am, doesn't deserve me for all that I'm made up of.

No matter what your background is, where you came from, what your skin color, hair color, eye size, or whatever physical appearance you have, should be in the way of anything; a friendship or a relationship. Race is such an issue, when I think it should have never been. Race issues are pretty sensitive, but I'm not afraid to tell it like it is.

So, please people, out with the race issues?

:)

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