It's not a big word, and yet, it brings so much burden. Hoping gets tiring; I hope too much until I personally think I couldn't be bothered to hope anymore. Emo, much? 

'Cheer up, cheer up!' 

Na'ah, it won't work this time. I'm not my own motivator all the time, there's a down-side to life, I know this happens, sometimes I just need to feel so bad about hoping 'til I hope I could 'hope again.' 
Weird, huh? Well, it works for me! :p
Even my iTunes is kind of a mood detector. It's on 'Suffocate- J Holiday'. Great, like that's the one song I would want to hear when I'm down.

'...I'm going out of my mind...'

I think I really am. Gahhh- 
Just in case some of you won't know (which I highly infer you don't), the name 'Nadia' means 'Hope'. Oh yea, just when you think it doesn't get any better, it just did. The burden of 'carrying' such a big meaning to a name, really does get into my head. 
If every name has meanings and it's suppose to 'label' the person, why am I not feeling any 'benefit' from it? As a matter of fact, I feel that I lose hope easily, and that I tend to think that there's no answer to the 'questions' that I have in life. 

When? Where? How? What? Why? 
No, not that Indonesian Language lesson in making a good paragraph. Those are the questions that I really need to be answered in my life. Well, I guess you'll never know what's going to happen next. 

...you'll never know.....

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