Let those blessings come running to you

Attention, before I start to type uncontrollably without the consciousness of these fingers, I would like to say that never have I, nor will I ever post a blog with any intention to brag about the situations that happened in my life. As far as I'm concerned, I've only written posts that share facts and thoughts without purposely bluffing in any way. 

The story I'm about to tell is very VERY long. So here goes nothin...

Semua berawal dari ngelewatin sebuah spanduk di mall yang berakhir pada perdebatan gua dengan nyokap yang super maksa ikut this contest. Gua sama sekali gak ada napsu-napsunya mau ikutan. But my Mom signed me in anyways. 

 
Beberapa minggu kemudian, gua dapet SMS dari an unknown number telling me that I should show up at this place, jam segini, ketemu disini. I was like, "What in the world...?" Jadi gua bilang ke nyokap, "Mi, ada orang SMS nyuruh dd dateng ke bla bla bla..." And she's like, "OH! That must be the contest person I signed you on earlier this month!" Terus gua langsung diem. Sedikit bingung, still in the state of shock. Gua tanya ke nyokap, "Itu kan mesti cantumin foto, Mami kirim foto yang mana??" Terus dengan tanpa berdosanya dia kasi liat foto-foto yang dia kirim dan respon gua tak lain adalah nelen-nelen ludah secara tu foto gak ada bagus-bagusnya, dan heran kenapa gua bisa masuk.


3 hari berlalu... Then came the night before. I was nervous, because I didn't know what to expect. I begged my Mom before going to sleep, praying to God she would somehow change her mind-- not to go audition the next day-- but she forced me to go anyways. So along came Wednesday, the 22nd. On the way I thought to myself, "Yaudah lah, whatever happens, happens." Soalnya di lain sisi, gua mau do it for my Mom's sake, as she put some effort into this. 


What I'm afraid of is falling. As in, failing. Gua tuh orangnya parno-an. Sedikit info, nyokap pernah signed me in for this kind of contest when I was 14, too. I made it to the Semi-Finals. But as the competition occurred, I kinda knew at the back of my mind I wasn't meant to win this. Terus bener kejadian. Mungkin kebawa mood pesimis juga kali ya, gak pede. I mean, it's a freakin' modeling competition, and by any means, I don't look at myself as this 'pretty-pretty-model' type, I mean-- I friggin trip on my own feet when I'm walking straight. I own two pair of heels and I don't even wear them to wedding parties. I walk like a boy and don't even come near to any make-up.
And so I lost the competition (the one I attended when I was 13). Dan gua kalo udah kalah di satu bidang, it's so hard for me to take another risk and start over. Just like trusting people, or liking people. Kalo udah gua cap untrustworthy, atau gua udah ilfeel, susah banget (bukannya gak bisa) buat gain the will to get back up. 


Okay, back to the first story. Udah sampe nih di tempat tujuan, Kelapa Gading. My Mom & I are starving. So what do we do?? We had lunch, of course. Bahaha :p So, we went to Pizza Hut. We ordered a small pan of pizza with cheesy crust and a bowl of salad and some iced lemon tea. As Mom and I were enjoying the salad, one of the waitress brought the pan of pizza and said, "We're so sorry that we made you the small pan of pizza that didn't have the cheesy crust, we are making another one with the cheesy crust and in the meantime, please enjoy our complimentary pizza. We're so sorry." Terus gua langsung liat-liatan sama nyokap. Wow. I mean, kalo misalnya dia suruh kita nunggu and made a lie about the pizza, we wouldn't know, and I know for sure my Mom wouldn't complain, itu baru kayak sekitar 10 menitan, and the average pizza takes up to 15 minutes or more, right? Oh well, so we get a free pizza, not a big deal! We decided to take the one with cheesy crust home. Well, what do you know, dinner's already in our hands :p But, there's more 'surprises' or should I say 'blessings' to come :p

Then I went to the toilet to change to another outfit. Terus terededeng! Gua sadar kalo ada stain on my jeans & I freaked out. Soalnya terlalu obvious!! But I went with it anyways and just try not to worry about it. Terus sebelum keluar, as any girl would do, gua ngaca dulu. Dan di depan kaca udah ngantri selusin cewe pada make-up heboh. And I didn't even put any powder on my face. Terus gua keluar dari WC thinking "Jiah, yasuda la ya, just get this over with." So I sat & wait to do this registration thing, and pas udah dipanggil gua baris dan nyokap nunggu di restoran not so far from the 'stage'. It was one hot day. Gua udah lepek duluan ngantri buat di timbang and ukur tingginya. Terus karena gatel pengen ajak ngobrol orang, gua ajak ngobrol cewe di depan gua, and surprise surprise, dia ternyata tinggal gak jauh dari rumah gua, which is in BSD. She goes to this school that I know quite a few people of, and we got along real well :) Dari segitu banyak cewe, yang berdiri depan gua adalah someone who lives near my house. What are the odds. Found some more girls to talk to & shared experiences (although I didn't have any). Ditambah ngeliat cewe-cewe yang tinggi menjulang, sangat mengintimidasi. In real life, I'm tall, but in the modeling world, unfortunately, I'm average. How sad.

Then, it was almost my turn to go down the catwalk. The music, the energy, the crowd, I thought, "Okay, this is my moment." What I constantly thought about was I didn't want to let my Mom down. She's a model when she was young and never in my mind have I thought about following her footsteps. Long story short, I walked on the runway and I think I did okay for someone so inexperienced, but I knew I wouldn't stand a chance to even get to the next round. There were like 500 people. Women alone. Belom cowo-cowo nya (yang beberapa di antaranya guanteeeng suangaaat kyaaaaa), yang lebih banyak dari cewe malah. 

Terus we waited until the evening. Ni juri lama amat sih milih nya. Kesian nyokap gua, gua pikir, udah kayak ikan asin dari siang dijemur. Terus duduk di Starbucks pake kupon gratis yang belom dipake deh :p Had a spinach quiche and a venti caramel frappuccino. Then, it was decision time. 

Okay, moment of truth. Anehnya, sekarang malah kaga deg-deg an. Jurinya desainer ternama di Indo. Dia komentar dulu sebelum umumin siapa 20 besar nya yang bakal compete bulan depan. Some of his speech he mentioned, "Sixteen or seventeen year olds aren't really what we're looking for." Sumpah, pasrah dah gua. Tadinya pake heels langsung deh ngambil sendal jepit gua. Terus gua udah bilang sama nyokap, "Yuk, Mi, pulang." Terus kata nyokap, "Tunggu dong, baru mau diumumin, jangan pesimis gitu dong." Terus gua mikir, "Ya ya ya, let's just end this." Out of 500-ish girls, I was number 104. Pas lagi speech gitu gua duduk di deket temen-temen gua yang ketemu sebelumnya. Terus the judges panggil, "Nomer 10. 59. 96. 110. 154." Terus gua udah makin pasrah, I said, "Tuh, Mi. Nomer dd udah di longkap." Terus dia go back to the small numbers, "Nomer 25. 75. 104." Spontan gua cengo.
Temen gua yang gua bilang tinggal deket rumah itu teriak kenceng banget, barengan dengan the other 2 that I met earlier. Heran, gua yang dipanggil tapi mereka yang heboh. But because I was still so very shocked, gua gak bisa ngomong apa-apa. Terus nyokap setengah panik dan senyam-senyum liat gua lari ke dia minta heels nya (because I have to go up on stage again). Jujur di atas panggung gua gak tau lagi siapa orang di sebelah-sebelah gua. Yang gua inget mereka semua udah saling kenal, as if they're professionals, terus gua paling pendek sendiri. But I thought to myself, "It's all worth the smile on Mom's face when I saw her while running towards her while wearing the heels on panic mode." 


Berhubung udah malem, gua bingung mau pulang gimana. First plan adalah nginep di rumah sodara gua yang terletak cuma berkisar 50m dari mall, tapi nyokap harus pulang karena dia ada acara besoknya. Gak mungkin gua kasi dia naik taksi sendirian. Terus tiba-tiba ada salah satu finalis yang samperin gua, cewe, dia bilang, "Aduuuh, aku pulang sendirian nih ke arah Serpong, kamu pulang sama siapa?" Gua langsung berasa kesamber petir, serius. The thing is, itu di Kelapa Gading kontesnya, and the odds are very small to meet someone who live who-knows-how-many-kilometres from Kelapa Gading to Gading Serpong. So, denger rumah gua di Gading Serpong, dia langsung minta gua sama nyokap ikut dia pulang. Wow. I wouldn't even think that there's someone who would insist on driving us back home. It was one heck of a day. 

Christine (the girl who lives in BSD, yang bediri depan gua pas ngantri), Me, Cely
Poni super lepek :S
Gua pengen cerita about the Semi-Finals, tapi menurut gua ni post udah panjang bangeeet. Next time maybe, I will.


I put up my registration number on the contest on my wall, buat ngingetin gua kalo apa yang akan terjadi di masa depan bakalan selalu unexpected. No matter how many times I avoid it-- gak ada yang kebetulan-- it's all planned out in a beautiful script of life. It remains a mystery, but I believe that what's coming in the future is great, indeed.

So keep the faith, will you?!? :)
Lovess xoxox

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