Lend a Hand

...HELLOOOOO!!!
Hope I didn't surprise you too much :p




My apologies for the lack of updates. The past couple of months have been tough for my country, and although I can't physically help them at the source of disaster, my prayers are with them, and I'm glad I did a little somethin-somethin too other than just sit down and watch the agony.

So this past couple of weeks I was involved in two charity events, the first is at the Hard Rock Cafe, titled 'Senandung Untuk Negri,' which was made up of a series of auctions from the celebrities' own belongings, from personal to professional stuffs, it was all sold for a good cause. There are so many singers and bands that performed at the event too.

There's a guitar that was sold for 10 million IDR, which once was owned by the band Gigi's guitarist, and also leather boots from one of the other rock bands. And... Let's see if I have a good memory. There's a picture of the legendary Jason Mraz which was signed with an authentic autograph too, with a little message for Indonesia. And also Delon's mic which was also autographed by the singer. There's also personal belongings like shoes and t-shirts being sold at the event. I went there with my cousin, Titin (a.k.a Christina), older brother, Jason, and my best friend, Maria. Had tons of fun as always when I'm with them :)

Me & Maria
Rio Febrian
Monita sang "God Bless the Child"
Titin, Me & Maria
Nadine Waworuntu, the talented daughter of the Indonesian diva, Ruth Sahanaya.
Awesome vocals!!! :D
Maria, Me & Jason

Then before we head home, we met up with Karen and Chacha at eX and head off for dinner at Kemayoran. Had a blast!


Jason, Me & Maria
Me & Maria
Well this is us being 'busy' with our phones :p


The other charity that I was involved in was different than the week before, which was the charity concert, this time I was really hands-on and got down and dirty. Well, this time it's a fashion show and it's a two-day event, so I got to wear one dress in a day, basically did a catwalk and the profits from the dress and other things went to charity of course :) Met a few new friends which shared a lot of experiences. Well, considering I'm inexperienced which made me an amateur, I was shocked that some of the models would want to do this, although they've done Fashion Weeks(s) and other huge brands' shows.

So the first day I got to wear a two-piece made up of a bustier and a flirty shorty short-short balloon skirt, was so pretty, I wished I could have taken it home with me, haha!

A Backstage Pict of Me and Sharon
I just don't like seeing myself wearing make-up :S


The second day I had to wear a soft pink dress, with pretty red stones on the waist that act like a belt.

Me and Charista
Sorry for the blurry pict :(

Those 2 weeks felt so fast, and I realized how much I love being involved in social events, it just proves more to me that there's so much things in this life that worth more than cash.



KEEP THE FAITH
XOXOX


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The Weak Link

I have to admit, I'm never and will never be good at losing people. Especially the ones who have left such footprints in the heart. Or become a great deal in taking part of my life. Call me an extremist, but I have to lose all sorts of contact by any means to make me forget. It's painful but it's the only quick way of getting rid of the thought of someone. It's like a waxing process, it might burn your skin for a while, but then it's spotless. That's just how I do it. I have to erase all contact details and train myself to live without them. I don't believe the fact that people go out of your life because they just have to or it's "time for them to leave," leaving is an option, so if they choose to leave then you're left with one option, close the door. You know how much pain it caused you, don't risk your heart getting broken again. People can't move on because they make exceptions for people that make them an option. There are signs, and you're not blind, you just chose not to see it and pretend like everything's fine.

Funny. How what you're trying to tell people actually hits yourself right in the head. I wish I can reach out into my skull, take my brain out, disconnect the nerves that had anything to do with people I'm trying to forget, and put it right back in. Yeah, that'll do it.



KEEP THE FAITH
XOXOX

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I swore to myself I'm not going to let my emotions get to me anymore, but you just have to make exceptions at one point or another. I let my guards down too sometimes. Just to prove to myself that I can't do everything by myself, I can't break my own heart and pick up the teeny tiny pieces while trying to put it all together. It's not made of stone, I also hope it's not made of glass which makes it fragile. I hope it's made up of a pillow-like substance. So every time it fell it just would bounce back or it'd be okay. I'm such a sucker for quotes, they make my day, you see one quote and it just rings in your head for hours. It's not good enough to let you forget the memories, it's good enough to kill the pain for quite some time.

You've got 2 choices. You can either sit and cry or spread your wings and fly.

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Dummy2Dummy Guide in 'Are You with the Right Person?'

I might not be a pro here, but I have a little somethin-somethin to share. Wisdom-- if that's how I call it (ha! I wish) about how to find out if you're with the right partner. Well I'm pretty much inexperienced, so that makes me a dummy, and if you listen to me, then that makes you a dummy as well. Haha, no I'm just kidding ;) this is just another random post. Don't pay much attention to it :p

I think if someone wants to be a big part of your life, then he/she has to also blend well with the people who are already a big part of your life, family and good friends for instance. Trust me, being with someone who brings you and your loved ones apart from you, won't last long for all I know. Give 'em little "tests" along the way, it might come in handy :)

You'll look forward talking to him/her. Even if it's for just a short catch-up, or just to talk about the most random stuffs, you shouldn't be avoiding to see his/her name flashing on your mobile phone, or erasing his/her text just to get away from communicating with him/her.


You both will know how to keep your pride to a minimum level. Both of you will soon learn when is the best time to say sorry, and in most needed times, it's when you feel like you don't want to or when you feel like you're not wrong.


Soon enough you'll have to deal with differences that you meet along the way. Well, you both are made up of different heads which makes it more obvious that you both would have different views on some things. It's not about how many things in common that you both have, it's more about dealing with differences which would lead you to a much stronger foundation to your relationship.

And don't give up on what you've built in time to time based on what you feel momentarily. Make wise decisions, think about the consequences you have to deal with in the long run. Most importantly, if you know, you'll know :) I might have not found the right partner, but there's no harm in writing it all down as my own guide (I know, I know, I'm that pathetic...)



KEEP THE FAITH
XOXOX

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Go Cry About It, Why Don't You?

Dim the lights, let's fade for a while.....



Funny how love works, by the time you swore you never going to fall for someone, you stumble into someone else's arms. I've been so protective of this little thing called heart and it's so hard for me to open up. It's just going to get harder now from here on out. How can you ever see the silver lining out of a heartbreak? The only good thing about it is the fact that heartbreaks inspire artists to make good love songs, which only leads us mortals to a much worse heartbreak. No, I can't afford to pick the little pieces anymore to just risk it to get my heart broken again for the..... I don't know how many times already. I've lost count.

I know I say a whole lot of crap. I told myself "That was it" for the gazillion times and I'll still going to give love another shot. I'm going to be a curious little monkey (again!) and get myself into believing that the next time would be different. This time it could actually be something you've always wished for. I guess you can never give up on love, no matter how much you try.


KEEP THE FAITH
XOXOX

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I am going to disappoint. Sooner or later I'm going to get mad at the smallest things and nag for attention. I am going to be jealous of certain things. I am going to mess up and maybe not be what you've expected me to be. I say the most random things and tell the lousiest jokes. I am going to be the most vulnerable when I admit that I'm wrong, so please don't take advantage of it. I would be very fragile when it comes to what I feel, and sometimes tears only mean unspoken words. I need my quiet moments where I don't want to talk to anyone, and I prefer if you'd understand that I need some space. I am never going to regret the fact that I'm not perfect, but if you deal with my imperfections and chose to love me for it, I am forever yours

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Thankful

If you've read a lot of what I write here, then you'll know that it's not always rainbows and sunshine, there's a dark side to me that a lot of people don't really see,
because I simply don't show it.

I don't really show how thankful I am to the people that have really got me through every ups and downs, but deep down I really,
really do appreciate the time and effort that they've made to keep me on track and alive today.

There are only a few friends who I know would be there through whatever, it was simply tested by the small things that might not seem like a big deal,
but those things are the ones that opened my eyes.

And to the people that have only seen me a few times, maybe just once or twice, or even haven't met me in flesh,
yet they've made me feel like I'm no stranger to them.
I still couldn't believe half the people I've made friends with, or meet until this day. It wouldn't even cross my mind to have met such powerful, wonderful, such inspiring people, that have somehow made me feel I'm special,
and it's a great feeling to have!

Living under insecurities will only eat me up alive,
so I've decided to boost up my level of confidence, and to those who made me feel like I actually worth something, thank you. Thank you for keep me going although there are a lot of times where I feel like I've had it and I'm about to give up, you make me feel lifted up again! I'm blessed to be surrounded by the most amazing people in the world. You can smile about it, yes, I'm talking about you.



...okay you can stop smiling, now you're just getting creepy...

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Lily: There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it is a mistake is to make that mistake and look back and say, "Yup, that was a mistake." So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not... Does any of this make sense to you?

Ted: I don't know, you said 'mistake' a lot.

Quoted from How I Met Your Mother, and dang it, it's too true!

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Conquering Queries.

There are some things in life that you'll learn without boards and chalks.
You are going to get your heart broken, you are going to lose a certain amount of people, you are going to get yourself hurt and sometimes the bruises stay for good.
You'll get to find wingless angels who you call friends, you are going to dream and make them all come true, in your own rules, do it in your very own ways.
Things go wrong, you'll screw up, but life just find its own way at the end.
Believing became a great deal in your life, just like music, you start realizing you can't live without it.

Sometimes you question why in the world is your life so different, sometimes you feel like normal is a thing you've been longing for.
You find what you like, what you don't like, what your weaknesses might be, the things that mold you as a person you are today.
Then you came to realize that asking questions about life won't get you answers to it, you have to figure things out yourself.
But if you don't touch lives while you're here on Earth, then you're not even living.
And how can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same...



KEEP THE FAITH
XOXOX

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Smileabouts.

A not-so-important note, yet I'm going to write it anyways. I might be easily pleased, but this is one of the days I would remember for the rest of my life. It was the perfect respond to what I've been longing to hear, I am still shocked myself. And I would have things to smile about for the next few years, decades, centuries :) I'm glad I don't have to keep wondering what could have been, it's perfect :) I believe it's the right place, it's the right time.

...it's okay if you don't get what I'm saying, I was just talking to myself :p

...yes, I do that a lot

On the other hand, Obama came to town! Whoopee! Made the traffic a whole lot worse than it usually is. You know how awful traffic is on a daily basis, now he adds up the chaos by closing all the major streets and redirecting them to other roads that already have worse traffic than the major streets!

I read an article in the New York Times about an interview with Obama's childhood friend which I find super interesting! So this man, Slamet Junaedi, reminisced on how Obama once asked a group of boys whether they wanted to grow up to be president, a soldier or a businessman. So Obama explained that the president would own nothing, while a soldier would possess weapons and on the other hand, a businessman would have money.

Mr. Junaedi and his younger brother, both of whom later joined the Indonesian military, said they wanted to become soldiers. Another boy, a future banker, said he would become a businessman.

“Then Barry said he would become president and order the soldier to guard him and the businessman to use his money to build him something,” Mr. Januadi said. “We told him, ‘You cheated. You didn’t give us those details.’ ”

“But we all became what we said we would,” he said.

Hmm, so technically we've been getting it wrong all along. Obama did NOT live the American dream. He's in Indonesia when he dreamed that he would become a president, but he became THE president of the United States. So he's actually living the Indonesian dream ;)



KEEP THE FAITH

XOXOX

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Don't Feed Me

What keeps me satisfied is now eating me alive.
I guess now the possibilities in life taken me to new extremes.
I just realized that I've always been the person who takes pleasure behind feeling frightened, behind anxiety.
I settle with the thought of being uneasy.
It's like crying without any reasons.
Sometimes you just don't know why you cry, but it makes you feel better anyway.
Or like rubbing your eyes when they itch, it doesn't make it any better, yet it gives you that comfortable feeling after rubbing it, which leads you to a much worse irritation.

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Up-and-coming

Finally assembled the power to make a new post since I was unable to get myself eating properly these few days (hopefully lost the stubborn weight I've been trying to get rid of). Slept from 8 p.m til' 8 a.m on Saturday, a record I must say I'm not quite proud of. In a recovery process, yet I have Mercedes Benz waiting for me in less than 2 hours. I'm not even tempted into eating the most delicious food there is, I've just lost my whole appetite, and I'm hoping next week I'll be in my best shape yet.

So, I've decided what I want to do in the near future. Taking my leap of faith. Hoping this would actually be worth my while. Speaking of the near future, Christmas is just around the corner. Went to the supermarket to get some milk and saw some Santa pillows being sold on the racks. Christmas makes me sad. I don't look forward to Christmas or birthdays. I sound like some dark, sad person, but that's just the simple truth.

What happened recently in Indonesia really has torn me. We are all just covered in deep grief. I know Indonesia is just known for its disasters such as the terrible bombings, the deadly tsunamis, and now the frantic volcano. But just like how we dealt with everything that had happened, we're holding on. Yes, we're still holding on.




It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
It takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to know you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain
La la la la la la la life is wonderful

- Life is Wonderful, Jason Mraz


KEEP THE FAITH
XOXOX

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And It Keeps On Turning.....

It goes up and down. Yes, life is like a wheel that spins nonstop. Sometimes when life takes an unexpected turn, all you can do is just roll along with it. There are certainly things you won't easily accept and just adjust to, but as I've said before, sometimes life doesn't offer you any choices, in a way it forces you to go along with it. Experience is a hard teacher because it gives the tests first and the lesson afterwards.

You know what I learn as life goes on? I learn that you'll find people worth living, family worth sacrificing, friends worth fighting for. And the one thing you should never give up on is your dreams. A friend of mine reminded me that success is not a place you need to go to, if you're heading towards the goal in your life, then you're already living a successful life :)

Everyone age. But as you grow older, you shouldn't stop making it happen! You shouldn't be discouraged because you think 'it' has not happened for you, yet everyone around you are already at the place they've been longing to be in. Not every story has the same process, where's the fun and creativity in that? ;)

Figure out who your true friends are along the way, keep the people that have been with you from the very beginning. Visualize yourself in the place where you'd love to see yourself in. Life's unexpected anyways, nobody knows what tomorrow holds. Trust me, I've experienced it firsthand.



KEEP THE FAITH
XOXOX

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