Last Confession-- I'm Pathetic

I was suppose to go to a family gathering today, but since I just slept at 4 in the morning and these braces made it impossible for me to eat anything solid, I decided to be lonely donkey and stay home. Plus, Grandma is not here, it just won't ever be the same again. But there are thoughts haunting my mind today, brought me back to some of the 'plans' I had in the past few months.

I still can't figure out why things didn't work out in the love section of my life. I mean, I don't make the highest standards, and honestly, by Christmas this year, I thought I would share it with somebody. Someone, you know, special.

And seeing that I have to go through it alone, for the 18th time in a row, again (Not to mention, first Christmas without my beloved Grandmother, who passed away last May), make me realize that there's something wrong. Really wrong. I don't know if it's me, or if it's just not the time yet, I just couldn't figure it out. Maybe it's because I've always been occupied, both in time and in the mind, that I didn't really put much thought about it, but honestly, it's starting to get to my nerves.

Before you know it, it's my Valentine, then it's my 19th birthday (Gasp! I'm old!!!), then it's Christmas all over again. I did get my heart broken this past year, also got near to a relationship, and then onto another heartbreak. I know, this is pathetic, sharing my love life to the whole world! Which won't make any of this crap any better, this could only lead to a much worse reputation! Ha, who am I kidding... What reputation, it's not like I have one anyways!

Throughout the heartbreak(s), I'm just thankful I don't get to a relationship which could only lead to a much worse pain, because I was shown little by little what the guy(s) really is(or are) like before falling a little deeper for them. I just can't imagine having a relationship with a guy who's not worth it after 'training' myself single for my whole life! Man, another pathetic statement. Cheer up, Nad, it's Christmas for goodness sake! Well I hope you were amused, what can be a better entertainment than someone reality which sucks a whole lot more than yours right?



KEEP THE FAITH
XOXOX

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