You Know That I Can Use Somebody ♥

Remember how one song used to remind you of someone and made you smile all of the sudden, almost as if you went into a time machine and was in the very same moment as when you hear the song? And now I'm feeling all of it over again. Though it makes me feel very much pathetic. Moving on isn't something that I'm a big fan of.

It's like every single time we get to talk, you always strip me down to the core, not in a dirty way, and you get me, because not many people do, they never do, never as much as you.

We came into this world as a nobody and all we need is someone who makes us feel special, as if this life is worth living.

Sometimes in the darkest nights, when I cry myself to sleep when things go so wrong, I reach out to my phone thinking about who could I possibly call or text just to calm me down and say every thing is going to be okay, maybe I do need somebody, and at the most vulnerable times I realize I'm not the strongest person in the whole world, I realized I could use somebody, maybe all this time I've been putting my guards up because I was afraid to open up, maybe I don't want people or 'any certain someone' to find out that I'm not as strong as I want to be seen, I'm actually fragile and weak in certain ways, maybe I'm afraid if they see me as I am and they wouldn't like me. Little by little I'm starting to build bricks of wall so that people wouldn't get in, and now I realized it's the size of the Great Wall of China! Breaking 'em down takes time, and that's all I need to find somebody. Someone like you.

No, I didn't just get out of a painful relationship, quite frankly I'm still happy I've never involved myself in any relationship. Not being in any of the relationship drama just made me realize that maybe I'm not one of those people who easily find someone and let them go the next minute. When I found someone, I get a good hold of them, so that makes it so hard for me to let go. But I secretly trained myself to let people go, learn that it's all a cycle that I'm not in charge of. It gets tiring though, the meeting someone part, the tell-it-all sessions, the 'click' moments, the 'almost-there' part, and when you're a step closer to that stage, it just all... Fell apart. Didn't go as you want them to.

But I've decided to accept it. Being single for 18 years gave me a stronger urge to really make sure if the guy is worth it. I'd rather settle for Mr. Right at the right time, rather than Mr. Right Now and regret it later on.


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