Girls Need to Know and Boys Need to Listen

You will-- at one point or another-- encounter an argument or an ongoing 'debate' in your family, in your friendship and/or relationship. Of course it is human nature for us to want to always 'win' an argument, and that is when our ego kicks in. I've read a book and the author stated something that I, guilty as charged, wholeheartedly agree. She said that an argument is like a coin that has two sides, and it always has to end with one winner, so she HAD to be the winner. It could never end with a draw. So, if you agree to disagree, or people enact the 'sweeping things under the rug' scenario, then that means no one has to be right and no one has to be wrong. Sometimes it's not the topic per se that is in deep importance, it's a necessity for our conscious to obtain the success of the conflict. Come on, I know it doesn't take a genius to figure that out, because we had those moments in life, now, didn't we? But what if we can't let it just... 'Slip by?'

The author gave an example of her own personal experience. So she was out with her boyfriend and her boyfriend brought a friend along. The three of them were just enjoying a delightful evening having sips of coffee until a beautiful girl passed by with her 'dandy' assets. Her boyfriend's friend nudged her boyfriend on the arm and they both stared at each other before grinning like High School teenagers. That pissed her off. On the way back, she told her boyfriend that what he did was rude and disrespectful to her. And she said something that I find interesting, that I often do a lot too, unconsciously. So she said she gather out some points in her head to make this argument her victory to keep and I could imagine that she rummaged facts inside her brain, creating this mini "Power Point slides" inside her head on how to make this match a K.O! (Of course girls do that...) She expected that he would just roll his eyes and tell her she's being way too sensitive (Yes, guys, of course we can see this coming! We read minds, remember? How else could we possibly be good enough to tell that you're lying:p ), but what came to her by surprise is that her boyfriend held her hand and look her in the eyes and said, "You're right. I'm sorry. That was very inappropriate and I would never do that again." She was in shock. She didn't see that coming. I know she must have thought, "Wait! I needed to put my points across!" or "What? A white flag? I need to win this!"

Bottom line is, you don't need to win every argument. Communication is everything. A girl can be mad to a guy not for the things he did or the things he said, but for the things he didn't do or the things he didn't say. A guy can also be mad to a girl for the things she did say or have done, but felt like it's too much to him. Instead of arguing so much, fix the puzzle. I know it would feel great to be the person who wins every time. But you know what will even feel much greater? It's when you value your relationship (can be with your family, friends or others) more than you value your ego. Find an equilibrial spot, find peace. Make your peace. You don't need to be at war at all times. If you're wrong, admit it, if you're right, shut up, no need for pinpointing that you were right all along or the 'I-told-you-so'(s).Whatever happened or didn't happen during the day, we go to bed with a clean slate. Just like how any relationship works, nobody gets to bed angry.


  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS