Want Versus Need

Maybe this time; I have to take a little break from writing about any other nonsense but my own self. Maybe this time, I have to learn to do something that I find is pretty tough to do, and that is to focus on what I want. Other than I want my blog readers to know the person behind all the absurd posts, I want to give you a tiny portion of what I've experienced in my life's journey. Please note that I'm just simply telling you a little bit of my story, of what I've been through, and I'm not seeking for any attention, any kinds of praise or compliment, I'm just sharing to you the person behind all the writings.

Hi, I'm Nadia, 18 years old (And honestly not looking forward to adding a number to my age and make it 19 in a matter of months). Every social network gives a segment to introduce yourself to the world through the "About Me" section, but I always think that it won't merely describe the person who owns the whole profile. I don't feel like I'm the most talented person in writing, I write because I love to write, I don't need more reasons to do so. The principle that I apply in other subjects, like in music for instance. The reason for someone to sing might be as simple as having a good voice, but is that enough to make you a true musician? No, to me a good singer is not only someone who has the pipes to hit the high notes, but to also be able to sing it from the heart. Because to succeed in something, you have to be able to make a connection. Writers have to connect with the readers, just as singers connect with the audience. I remember a quote that said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

An occupation-- you might think, "Geez, what the heck, you're 18, young lady, what could you possibly know about having a job? And I mean the true meaning of a REAL job?"

Well, let me tell you my friend... I know just enough.

I've been working ever since I was 16 as a tutor, or you might know it as a study course teacher, not a common thing for Indonesians to work at this age, I know. Even Indonesians refer to it as "child exploitation," but I don't feel burdened at all, because I do it all with my own free will.

I tutored elementary kids at first, but thank God slowly I was trusted and sent High School kids, both Junior and Senior High. Again, I'm not an Einstenette, I'm not the smartest kid in Jakarta but I somehow find tutoring fun and I love dealing with kids, it's kinda funny how I learned so much as I teach. It was an awesome experience, honestly, so many hilarious and funny moments that I can't really write one by one. Moreover when I meet my friends, all they can do is laugh at me because all I can talk about is those kids, and they started calling me as a mommy because I talk as if I have already had dozens of kids. Well I meet them from Monday to Friday, even Saturdays when they have exams on Monday, so my life slowly became a part of these kids'.

Then in May 2010, one of my friends started introducing me to the world of ushering, I don't even consider this as a job, because frankly, you're there to stand and look pretty.

June 2010, I tried something new again; worked as a Sales Promotion Girl in one of the telecommunication company in PRJ. Since I still lived in Tangerang at that time, I was determined to live all by myself by renting a room in Kemayoran to work in PRJ, everyone think I was nuts because I was 17 at that time, and to be able to protect myself in a dangerous environment like Kemayoran, needs an "extra grace." The strange thing is, for one whole month that I lived all by myself & took care of everything without any help, I was given extra power from God the perfect health, 'cause the duty hours were irrational to me, I slept at 3 a.m and wake up at 7 a.m to work again, which I find amazing until this day! Even the girl that lived next door to me got robbed, but I was very thankful to be fully protected when I lived by myself. And what's even weirder, I even forgot to text people back home because I was drowned by the hectic work in PRJ. It was really one heck of an experience.

In July 2010, I experienced one of the biggest increase in life, I landed a job being the Brand Ambassador for Mercedes Benz. When given the reliability at a young age, it's so easy to feel pressured, but I felt challenged to be given the responsibility this big. They even admitted that they needed someone more experienced, but they tried taking a risk by hiring me. Here, I worked alongside Robert O' Connell and Adam Edermo who trained me "how to be a lady." They taught me how to talk like a woman, sit like a woman, and even walk like a woman. Sad how the lessons on being a true woman was given by a couple of dudes.

Mercedes has plenty of events that are divided in two, organizing an event or sponsoring an event. When they organized an event, I was trusted as the presenter in the event. Where as in sponsor, Mercedes Benz are associated with 3 types events; music, fashion and sports, and because Mercedes Benz acted as a sponsor, usually the work is nothing more than just being a display of the night. I am thankful because so many doors are opened through Mercedes Benz.

Maybe you might be thinking to yourself, "Oh, so you're not continuing your way to University?" And my answer will always be the same, not yet. Honestly, I have so plenty of dreams, so many buried passions that I want to achieve, and I feel like it's not (or has not been) the right time to make it all come true. But ever since my parents' separation, I know I have to act maturely just way above my real age. Just as Mercedes Benz took the risk of hiring me at a young age, I took the risk of working at this age, because just like London Tipton has said in one of the Suite Life of Zack and Cody episode, "Sometimes when you love someone, you've got to think of their needs first before you think about yourself." Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my youth, girls my age think about boys and about what-to-wears on Saturday nights, I am stranded somewhere working my butt off even on weekends. But I don't regret anything, I learned from most of the experiences in my life; to do what I need to do before being given what I want. And it's so true how I once read a statement that said, "God never gives you what you want, but He gives you what you need." Because without pain, you won't be able to be thankful for your health. Without people who left you, you won't be able to appreciate those who suffered and are always there for you. Without going through things that you need to go through, you won't ever get what you want. And it happens. I'm not the most religious person in the world, but in my life, what God did and will still do for me in the future are real, and I do feel that, my whole life... It's been nothing but grace. Because everything that happened in my life is not because of my own strength, needs an "Extra Power" to be able to go through everything. If for some people that is just not good enough, then you're just never going to feel satisfied. Because in life, sometimes all you've got to do is just-- keep the faith.

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FN said...

Wah, kamu ni mature and witty ya.. Salute your views on life despite being at a young age. I really look up to you despite only being a year older than you. I totally feel ya :') Though we are of different religions, our views towards God is the same. He is loving and kind..

Nadia Juliana said...

Hey, FN:')
I am still smiling over the fact that a stranger could connect to what I wrote, let alone being looked up to, you're being way too generous with the compliments:')
Thank you for reading & I hope you stay tune!

Duta said...

...And this is the reason why you are and gonna be an extraordinary lady, nad..!it's been always nice to read your life being poured out into your writings =).

Nadia Juliana said...

Hey, Duta:')

Thank you for reading & commenting! Amen! I know you'll do amazing things & God will bring you to even more amazing places too! And it's my pleasure to read your comments from you, too!:')