Lucky- Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat

  • She yells because she cares.
  • She cries because she's frustrated.
  • She smiles out of no where because she's thinking of you, even if you're already there.
  • She scrunches her face because she's about to explode.
  • She hits you because she wants to touch you.
  • She stares at you because she's infatuated.
  • She checks every half an hour because she misses you.
  • She asks questions because she's curious, not to be annoying.
  • She wants to know where you are to be with you.
    Truth is, that girl just loves you.

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Identity Crisis (?)

I hate it when I say my name out loud after someone asked me to introduce myself, and right after that they immediately "think" I'm the other Nadya. You know, the one who is a gorgeous model, once a popular VJ, and now well-known for her green lifestyle. As flattering as being "compared" to that other flawless goddess sounds, no one-- in general-- likes to be compared. It's not the first or second or third, I've heard it numerous times that I'm kinda getting sick of it. I mean, living under someone else's shadow? Come on, I would definitely make my own mark in this world. Hopefully there will come a day when other Nadia/ya(s) in the next generations, and people would be all like... "Oh, you mean, Nadia like that... Nadia Juliana?" And I'd be up in heaven, sitting next to Mrs. Hutagalung, pointing at her, smiling and say, "Ha-Ha, in your face. People remember me better now rather than they remembered you back then..."

...then maybe do a little victory dance. Woot, woot.

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The Time-Traveler's Wife

Recent Song on Play: I'm In Love With A Girl- Gavin DeGraw
"I'm in love with a girl who knows me better, fell for the woman just when I met her,
Took my sweet time when I was bitter, someone understands...
"


The one thing that startled me when I was about to watch the movie is that I thought, "Why put the spotlight on the wife?" I mean, it is a story about a man with the ability to time-travel, right? Then why does she deserve all the attention? Playing the role of Clare, Rachel McAdams has definitely grown out of her Mean Girls days to begin with. And she definitely plays a different role, far from her ever-so-memorable classic chick flick, The Notebook.

I can't really quite put my finger on how this time-traveling ability works, it was some kind of genetic-related issue, so I decided to play along since I'm not trying to be an Einstennette. What's interesting is that the movie wasn't about a superhero trying to save a damsel in distress and fighting against evil villains that are trying to take over the world, but rather a movie about how this man with an unknown and rather odd skill, tries to save his own life from falling apart. This "skill" of his is out of his own control, he could have disappeared and reappear at any given moment. You'll get the hang of it as the movie goes on, the actors did an excellent job since they've successfully given you mixed emotions during the movie.

As it goes back to the past and fast forward to the future, I'm beginning to understand why the movie revolves around the wife instead of the time-traveler. It's because she has fallen in love with this man and she has no choice but to wait for him. Even her friends told her to rethink the decision of marrying him, but I admire her tough will and strong heart to stick with her decision.

"I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way."

She admits as she surrender to the fact that her husband will keep on popping in and out without a warning in advance. There are a few scenes that emphasized that it wasn't easy for her to live a life that way, how she has no guarantee how long she should wait for her husband to come back, like how she just got married and they were jumping joyfully on the bed, laughing, celebrating how they're finally together, but then he disappeared in the seconds that followed, or how they both were setting the table for dinner and as the wife goes into the kitchen, suddenly her attention was alarmed by the sound of the broken plates when the time-traveler decided to go "Poof!" all of the sudden.


The movie definitely saved the best for last. It all came down to the scenes at the ending of the movie. I nearly had tears in my eyes when she admitted that she didn't regret a second in her life, how she thought every minute was worth it, even the fact that she gave in to spend her life waiting, she did it all for love.

"Don't you think that it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?"

I'm just astounded by her ability to accept everything, how conflicts in her life made her grow stronger, even when she's separated by her husband, how she has to spend most of her life waiting, she even went through blunders like miscarriages, which make the irony even worse. I just found out that the movie is also available to be enjoyed in the form of beautiful literature; a book, that is. I Googled the quotes online and there are a few that really caught my eye.

"There is only one page left to write on. I will fill it with words of only one syllable. I love. I have loved. I will love."


I've seen that quote on Tumblr a few months ago, and was shocked to find out that it's from The Time-Traveler's Wife movie, I didn't quite get the quote until I saw the movie myself. It was a movie that taught me that sometimes waiting for something worth it is okay, it prepares you for the worst and make you a lot more patient in so many ways.


"I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks, I work until I'm tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that's been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence?"



keep the faith
xoxox

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The Sweetest Revenge

Recent Song on Play: Love Love Love- Hope (Feat. Jason Mraz)
"And I thought that I was strong, I knew it all along this was out of my control...
So I fell into your hands, and I don't know where we'll land, I'm just going with the flow..."


Many people-- after being left, hurt or betrayed-- plan this revenge schemes inside their brain, thinking of how they can get even. For instance, a girl was cheated by her boyfriend or she just recently broken up, she has million of miserable things running in her head on how to get even, like how she can get another man in her arms to make him more jealous, and all this hate just kept building up in her heart because she was hurt by her man. People said "Revenge is a dish best serve cold," so it's best to "punish" those who have harmed you in any ways you have never imagined immediately after they've left a scar in your heart.

Hate. Probably the root of all vengeance. And nothing cools a hot flaming fire like cold water. So, instead of hating so much, why don't we take the high road and turn it into love? Forgive; is the first option. But if it hurts you too much to let it go, if you think they don't deserve all this sweet loving, then love yourself more. Redirect all this energy of hating to taking care of yourself. Smile more, go to the gym, feel great about yourself. No revenge is as sweet as making those who hurt you to regret ever letting you down. Since they saw that you're better off without them, they'll think twice of why they even have the idea of hurting you in the first place. Shallow thoughts lead to regrets. It's not easy to be the bigger person, but sometimes it teaches you to be a better person. It goes to all those who hate you for whatever reasons too, when you wipe it off of your shoulders and just grow better and better every time, it will prove to them that you can stand tall above it all. Getting even doesn't make you a better person, it just shows that you're at the same level as them and that means you're not any better than they are. The higher a tree grows, the stronger the wind blows.

Truth is, human being has the natural skills to survive. I bet we have experienced some kind of bleeding in our entire lives. Literally and figuratively. Applies in Science too, see how the white blood cells work as our immune system and turn into pus, how it puts a stop to the overflowing blood? Or how we have dust in our eye and it automatically wets the eye to help it purify the contaminated area? Yes, we'll get over the wrongdoings and the hurt. Forgiveness is a choice, I guess nothing gets in their nerves more than seeing we're doing absolutely fine. How we're a lot stronger than we were before. Show them that we're the best they never had; the best of friend they have turned their back on, the best of partner that they've ever been unfaithful to, the best at whatever you're doing and people are just jealous of you. Wipe it all off, people... Wipe it all off. Don't let it get to you, take control of the situation. Breathe in, breathe out. Put your shades on and show them who's boss.


Those who plot the destruction of others often perish in the attempt. - Thomas Moore.


keep the faith
xoxox

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You're an Idiot

Recent Song on Play: I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)- John Mayer (Live Acoustic)
"Hold on to whatever you find baby,
Hold on to whatever will get you through..."


This is either a thank you note or you figured that I'm just mocking you in front of the whole world, have it any way you want. I just don't get why you would want to deal with this much drama, with this geek right here. To have been so patient in dealing with my extreme mood swings. To have fallen for this monstrous laugh. To wait for hours alone at 2 in the morning at the meeting point, being surrounded by mosquitoes to talk to me; wishing I would magically come down because I have fallen asleep and you came by because you see signs of negative Tweets. To have been so quiet when I'm talking loud about random stuffs and sometimes things that I don't even have to talk about. To have understood what I really want, even when I don't say it out loud. To listen... Yes, you listen well. To have not gotten mad when I throw pillows at you while you're driving. To let me sleep on your shoulder on the way home. To never complain for waiting so long. To deal with me when I call you names, when I disagree with whatever you're saying, when I'm just simply being annoying. To have laughed at my so-not-funny jokes. To try so hard, so... Very... Hard. I don't say what I mean and I keep pushing you away; so with this I say to you... I don't wish for you to stay. I guess you deserve an award to just sticking around for this long. It's true how I once thought, "Whoever sticks around with me longer than 6 months must be stupid," so I guess that makes you an idiot... And I love you.

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You May Say I'm A Dreamer...

This following post contains a recent conversation of me and a friend of mine; just like how most of my posts have always been, it isn't some kind of a serious post. I was asked to take part in a survey, being given the question of "How do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years," I felt honored, and at the end of the question, there's two words that followed which trigger the imaginative side to me, "Be wild." Too bad I was told to just make three or a maximum four list of things. My mind was busy trying to make the answers as satisfying to me as it could. The background music got me all inspired and the words were outpouring in an inexplicable way because Hillsong's Shout to the Lord was playing.

NJ: EMEHEHE (My natural yet disgusting laugh) I have tons actually...

MA: Just make a list of answers if you don't mind!

NJ: Hmm, okay...
1. I see myself having a NY Times Best-Selling Author book! Let's see... What else...
2. Have an awesome job that has to do with a lot of talking; talk-show host or just a newscaster would be awesome!

3. And I see myself running a charity or foundation for street musicians to be heard, 'cause some street musicians in Jakarta alone have mad talents. I know none of it has happened yet, but those are the ones that I wish would come true.
MA: Aww, Nad. Those are all so lovely and generous of you! I really hope you can achieve it and who knows, maybe you can be the next Oprah. And what are your efforts at the moment in order to reach all of those dreams? Anything in particular?
NJ: Umm well the book part, I'm just taking very small steps and I'm recently very active in my blog to practice my writing skills, and on my way (Fingers crossed!) to be a paid writer, about the hosting thing... I've been introduced to this job since last year, and I think of it as one of those stepping stones. About the street musician thing, just a longing desire that I've never told anyone to.
MA: My God, Nadia. Sometimes talking to you feel like talking to my own twin. We have different dreams, just the same amount of passion. Anyway, last question. I know you would have many, but what is your Favorite Life Motto? Good luck with choosing just one. Haha!
NJ: Well, dreams for me... Okay, I read about this, how there was once stated, "Dreams are free." And people like free things, don't they? So while you're here, why don't you dream as expensive as you can? You have nothing to lose anyways. Life motto? Wow! Toughest question by far.
MA: Holy sh**. That can be the manual to everybody's lives. Do you want me to feature that one? That's awesome!
NJ: Wh... What! I didn't mean for it to be my life motto... But then, that doesn't sound shabby. Haha, I can be pretty indecisive (Translation: Labil). Ah! ME SO HAPPY! (Another translation: Lebay)
MA: I know how you feel.
NJ: Actually my life motto has always been one. It's taken from the Bible, but it's exceedingly true. "Faith... Is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." Adding to the already uplifting Scripture, is because a believer sees his dreams coming true before it actually does.
MA: Wow. That's... Wow. Thank you so much, Nadia, for sharing it with me. I'll let you know when it's up online. I have so much respect for you.
NJ: You're most welcome! I hope you'd want me to do other surveys if there are any more of these in the near future!


Call me by the word, but that's me, I just have always been a dreamer. Dreams are free, people. Imagine being in a restaurant with someone who said that the meal is on them, you wouldn't want to just order the ordinary meal on the menu, would you? You would want to eat as many as you can and order the most expensive meal possible,right? The same thing goes with dreams. Whether it'll happen or it won't, it's by His generous willing and His considerate grace. All we have to do here is to believe.




"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."

keep the faith
xoxox

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Happy 86th Birthday, Oma

Recent Song on Play: Semalam I Call You, You Tak Answer- Zee Avi

Okay, you might think I'm crazy for tearing up while listening to a funny song. But it's not about the song I'm mellow about. Today is the 21st of June; if my beloved Grandmother is still here, she would be having her 86th birthday. I always thought that my family members-- even though coming from a Dutch lineage-- is known for its patriotism based on their birthdays. My Grandma's birthday is a day short from Jakarta's Anniversary. My Mother, a day away from Indonesia's Independence Day.

My Grandma, well known for her warm and tasty cooking skills, doesn't talk much about her husband. She shared about how Mom has her little favorite yellow chair and won't let any of her siblings sit there. How everyone would have to fight over a mango because she could only afford one fruit for the family. How one of her daughters broke her arm while riding home on a becak (an old transportation in a form of bike-like carriage, with a person propelling it) from school. Everything sounds new to me.

I remember looking forward going to her house every Sunday after church to chow down some freshly cooked chicken wings marinated in sweet soy sauce, and watch some cartoons while having some chilled Coke. It was the one time I can get away with soda without having my parents yelling at me. I remembered playing upstairs, pretending my brother and I are in some kind of a movie, with our wildest imaginations in mind, had little knowledge about growing up, we only lived for the moment.

Speaking of my brother, I found out that he has a "writer" side to him too. I stalked his recently made blog, quite surprised by his posts. I want to quote from one of his writings, "We have every rights to love and be loved, because love is such an amazing thing, it could do what every man never thought of; climb every hills of insecurities and doubts, conquer mountains of hatred and deceits."

...I smell competition! Go follow him and show some love. Click here!


You're not here with me but it's a special day,
So happy you're reuniting with Opa again to celebrate your birthday,
As Heaven dances and sing along,
Having angels singing you The Birthday Song,
And to rejoice in the Lord forever,
'Til we meet again and live happily ever after,

In Memorial: Tilly Clifford van Breugel (21 June 1925-28 May 2010)


keep the faith
xoxox

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And That Makes One Out of the Bunch...

Recent Song on Play: Telling the World- Taio Cruz
"I'm telling the world that I've found a girl,
The one I can live for, the one who deserves,
To give all my heart, a reason to fly,
The one I can live for, a reason for life..."


Dessy, Maria, Nathalia, Me and Moniq


And it felt like it was just yesterday we were having our Junior Prom.

They've been dating since 08.08.2008, and the eight years difference didn't become a wall that separate these two hearts. Don't be fooled by her petite figure and adorably cute baby face. I admire her bold choice of taking the final step of relationships at an early age-- marriage.

I love how Monica mentioned how Thomas waited for her while she's at her class from 10 a.m to 6 p.m, how Thomas promised to honor, cherish and love his now-proclaimed wife (gasp!), and last but not least, how Monica's sister said "The very best of marriage are made by best of friends, who face together hand in hand through good and bad life scene... They make marriage like true friendship," isn't it beautiful?


Although I don't picture myself marrying anyone-- let alone getting married!-- but these things are the ones that make me think twice. The venue, the family gathering, the friends that witness their happy moment... It all seemed grand.

Confused by the topic of the post that I've been babbling about? I'm talking about a friend of mine, Monica-- Moniq, in short. She recently got married and her video inspired me to do this post. I personally don't think marriage should be defined by age, because maturity is not shown through a person's age, but by each individual's doings. Although she's the same age as I am, but by her status right now, she is probably way ahead of me in the readiness to settle down. I wish you nothing but the best. I wish you all the love in the world to sustain your marriage and find true friendship in each day to make it worthwhile. Here's a link of the wedding video they made on their wedding day, I kept playing it over and over because it was so beautiful. Prepare to be enchanted.


Monica and Thomas
(click!)


To those who believe in true love,
To those who believe in making their own happily ever after's,
To those who's on their way to believing...



keep the faith
xoxox

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What Every Girls Know That Guys Don't

Recent Song on Play: Empire State of Mind II (Broken Down)- Alicia Keys
"I'm gonna make it by any means, I got a pocketful of dreams..."


I've heard some... How do you put it... Interesting stories from my friends that inspired me to do this blog. So, before I get to the core of the post, keep this in mind: Girls are confusing.

Okay, this post began with the reminiscence of my past Elementary days. Obviously I wasn't the popular kid around-- well except if you're the person in charge of the library, you might easily recall how I look like back in the days-- but I remembered doing pretty okay with the making friends part. Of course, that was until a new girl came in my school. She is pretty and this new kid got all the boys talking. For some reasons I have always been good friends with the pretty girls, I guess school has always been that way, everyone plays a part, don't they; there's this nerd, the popular girl, the funny kid... You get the picture.

I read a quote that best describes how I felt back then, "There's always some reasons for us to not feel good enough." Insecurities. I believe we have somewhat had this sort of experience.
A girl feels easily insecure if her boyfriend meets another girl that is smarter or prettier than she is, although there's no guarantee that the guy is interested with this new girl, the real issue is that the girl makes scenarios in her head that sometimes is just an exaggeration of what is really happening.

Another example that I personally experienced in the past is that a guy might have this silly crush on you and he tries to find his way to your heart. He does all this cute things but for some reasons, you just don't like him back. And when he has given up and stopped chasing after you, there's this sad feeling in your heart that you can't describe, a feeling of being unwanted and not adore anymore, and that leads me to the following conclusion: Girls silently like the attention. Then why do we act as if we don't like it? Again, let me remind you, girls are confusing. Some things are just not meant to be figured out, just leave us be.

We have trust issues too. We're going to demand the answer to the same questions sometimes because we simply need to be reminded all the time. So boys, don't get tired of saying how beautiful she is and how much you love her. Don't let her be the one who's questioning whether you love her or how much you love her, but surprise her by being the one who makes her feel special, moreover at times when she feel like she is not. Trust me, if you remember, it will do you wonders.

Truth is, girls are confusing. And I mean, really confusing. Even us ourselves don't know what we want sometimes. Girls are not meant to be understood, we are made to be loved. But I read something that I felt is a little conceited yet true, "God created woman after man because we always make the rough draft before the final masterpiece."



keep the faith
xoxox

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Strength Behind the Power

It's been a year since my beloved Grandmother has passed. A year and a month, to be exact. She's a role model to me in so many ways, the way she stayed strong living all alone after Grandpa left because of the devastating cancer that was a huge shock to the family, he died in his early 30's (My Mom was only 5 when he left) and Grandma has to deal with such sudden loss. With 13 children, Grandma raised them herself and not a thought of getting married again passed her by. She kept her promise when she vowed that only death can bring them apart. She stayed faithful to my Grandpa until she took her last breath and was buried right on top of his grave. As a strong and independent woman, she taught her children well about religion, about love, and about life in general. Although she barely survived without a complete husband and father figure in this family, none of her kids starve themselves or live under a bridge, but they finished school and all are living happily with their newfound family members.

My Mom might have caught the "Living Solo" virus that Grandma accidentally spread after my Grandfather's death, knowing Mom has made it through all these years raising my brother and I all by herself. My Grandma has always been the stereotypical stay-at-home Mom; cooked all meals, pampered her husband, took care of the kids. My Mom had her date nights out with Dad, accompanied him out of town for business purposes, even spare time to plan mini holidays for the big family. Although my parents' divorce has nothing in common with my Grandpa's death, the separation was nothing less than painful.

Growing up-- reading about Lady Diana, watching Oprah Winfrey, analyzing Michelle Obama-- I learned that every man's success has something to do with the woman behind him; her support and her prayers. Of course it doesn't depend solely based on just the women's deeds, but also with the men's hard work. But it is true that every powerful man has an even stronger woman behind him. But tracking back to the past, I guess the women I learned from have absolutely no problem flying solo. So, do you think I can pull off a Mother Theresa?;)

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Salad Day on Delay

Current mood: Stuffed. It almost seems like Mercedes pays me to store more fat in my body. Before I went to Sukabumi, they prepared a fish burger from Burger King, knowing the only meat that I prefer is fish rather than beef or chicken. As I arrived in Sukabumi, I prepared myself for the event of the evening, dinner with other Mercedes people from all over Asia, had the yummiest grilled shrimp, chocolate cakes, tried everything and I literally went all out... Nearly fainted from all the eating. Took pictures, danced a little, everyone smell like beer and wine, it was a pretty fun night.

Friday isn't suppose to be the day where I munch on every edible item in front of me, it's suppose to be the day where I eat salad and nothing else. Nothing consists of extra calories. But I guess this Friday is an exception. Now all I gotta do is resist this temptation of chewing this left-over chocolate cake in my room, not start to drink cans of Carlsberg, which is abundantly supplied in my hotel room, and try to blog myself to sleep. And... Off to bed I go! Working on a Saturday, fun times!


Keep the faith

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Feeling a Little Black and White


Oh, you know I'm bored when I blog twice in a day. Being sick is the worst situation ever to be in, especially when you have the flu; you can't look down for too long without having mucus hanging out of your nose, your eyes get droopy and you're always sleepy all the time. Your nose gets red from all the tissue wiping, your voice gets hoarse and it bothers you when you just can't sneeze but you feel there's all this bacteria roaming all around your nose. The worst part is tasteless food, your appetite downgrades by a mile. I hate hate hate being ill. But I love doing nothing on my bed, listening to music that inspires me to do more blogs. I hate not thinking properly, losing balance at times when I stand, everything feels like they move in slow-mo. Blaaarh.

I'll be okay... I will. I probably need to sleep it through.



keep the faith
xoxox

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5 Minutes

Recent Song on Play: Every Time We Touch (Ballad)- Cascada
"Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky; they wipe away tears that I cry,
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all, you make me rise when I fall:')"


I was ready to call it a day. I've had so many things going on today that I nearly explode. Not in a rebukingly angry kind of ridicule; not the ones that people usually do when things don't go their way, you know, ready to punch someone in the face or give the most offensive and impolite kind of mockery-- to me it was more like a remorseful mental breakdown. In short, I had a bad day. I wasn't in the best physical condition; runny nose, sore throat, mild headache-- I imply the thought that I'm wonder-woman sometimes, and it hits me so very hard like a boomerang. On the way home I thought about the things I'm going to do when I get there, I was ready for blog, tea and a good afternoon rest before someone messaged me that he had a surprise. Arrived exhausted, I read that I had something waiting for me-- I expected a non-living thing-- but somehow I had quite an unexplainable feeling that he was there, waiting somewhere. I saw a man standing at a distance, shadowed by the top of the roof that he's standing underneath. He was glued to his phone that he didn't realize I passed him by just a few meters away, he said he had something he wants me to get at the meeting point; a little sandbox-like place where we usually sit early at dawn to talk. Funny how the surpriser became the surprisee. Yes, I made those words up, sue me. Since he wanted to "trick" me, I thought it would be fun to make him wait a little while, I took a bath, brew some tea, charged my Blackberry before meeting him downstairs. I saw his wide grin when he caught me ruining his so-called "surprise," I smiled and came over, noticing he rode a bike to come see me. The actual plan was not for us to meet, but for him to catch me getting a little sack filled with this "medication" for the flu that I caught. I laughed about it, he was pissed about it, but then the brief meet became the turning point of my day. It's cliche to call it love, I'd say it was a quick remedy from someone that you care about. I had little flashbacks on the back of my head; how that day became everything that I thought just couldn't get any worse. Then I realized-- what a difference even five minutes can make. Those five minutes filled with a gentle smile, while hearing someone's tender voice, just gives this serenity in your mind... Which I personally think you don't just get from anyone.

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Bittersweet Beginnings

Recent Song on Play: The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore
"You pulled me under, if I had to give in,
Such a beautiful myth, that's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises, I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone."


Slow down, hold onto whatever you can. Remember the city lights, remember the smile, the laughs. The more you cherish things, the less you'll take it all for granted. Remember about taking things slowly? I guess if you love something so much, you'll do anything to keep it safe and sound. And if you rush into the good parts, we'll be left with all the bad ones. I'm a firm believer that what you have won't ever last, so I might as well don't eat rather than be the person who takes the last bite. I just don't see why we should get a good grip of something when it's like holding onto water, you're slowly and surely losing every bit of it. People change as easy as feelings change. When you take things too seriously, that's when you dig a hole, you're just getting deeper and deeper. Once you're in it, it'll be a whole lot of work to get out. With good things that came along, I learn that every bad ones that happen are just a way of us learning that life is never as it seems. So with everything else in life, take your time, don't get too carried away. Nothing that is instant last. Don't let your impulse be the bar that sets your decisions.

It's like shopping, sometimes we buy things that we don't really need. A good trick that I have learned from the past is that when you see something and it tempted you to use your money, wait and think about it for 24 hours. If you really need it, then the same desire to buy the item will be the same as it was yesterday, but in most cases, the desire always changes, because it was just your urge of having new things because it seems attractive or because of the word "SALE." Because most of the time, you think twice after you've bought the item and you'll be left with the thought of yourself saying, "I don't really need this, do I?"

The same thing goes with love. Sometimes you want people in your life because you want to claim them as yours, then again when it's yours, you feel like you don't really want it anymore. So before you jump into conclusions, wait for your brain to kick in, is this thing valuable enough for you to wait for? Your whole life, haven't you been waiting all this time? Waiting for your exam results, waiting for the letter saying whether you're going to be hired by a company or not, enrollment to a University, waiting for the bus or taxi, waiting for somebody to get out of the toilet! I think if you're waiting, you might just be in preparation for something good, and I mean, real good. Because in life I learned, everything worth having is worth waiting for.


keep the faith
xoxox

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To-Do-List You Can't Miss!

Here's a few of things you can do while I'm gone, you can do it as often as you like, but promise me you'll do it all by the time we meet.


1. Ride your bike.
2. Take a picture of the clear blue skies.
3. Sleep whenever you have spare time. Or walk your dog.
4. Listen to a CD that calms you down. Drink some tea.
5. Pray and ask for strength.
6. Eat rice, with any choice your favorite side dish.
7. Hug and kiss your Dad before going to work or anytime leaving the house.
8. Play video games or catch a movie with your brother.
9. Take a picture of yourself when you're rehearsing.
10. Take a picture of yourself when you're working/while at work.
11. Drive through the Twilight Zone when you're on your way home.
12. Do a cover of your favorite song from our playlist, your pick. Post it on Tumblr.
13. Do a minimum 3 paragraph Tumblr post, telling about your whole day. Be as creative as you like.
14. Eat Jacob's, Beard Papa, or treat yourself some frozen yogurt.
15. Ask your Mom how her day went, buy her her favorite snack or food if you like and talk to her for 5 minutes minimum.
16. Go for a swim. Ask your cousins to come with you if you want to.
17. Wear a big smile on your face and say, "Isn't this such an amazing and wonderful world to be in?" to your listeners when you go on air.
18. SLEEP SOME MORE. By the end of the week, let me know when was the longest you've slept throughout the whole week.
19. Go to a book store, pick a book of your choice, you don't have to buy it but tell me why it's interesting. Post and talk about it on Tumblr.
20. Promise me to take care of your body. Jog, eat plenty and SLEEP SOME MORE.



See you when I see you:')

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Never Too Late

God isn't Santa Claus. You don't make a list of things and magically achieve everything you want in life. Life will always show its problems, what you have to remember is that there's always a way out. Everything that lasts are not something that you receive overnight. Our erroneous thoughts might lead us the wrong way because there will be pain, there will be tears. Think of your problems as a way of drawing yourself closer to the Almighty. Everyone needs some kind of rest and relaxation sometimes. You need to clear your mind. Take a day off. Not every day is a good day, but there's something good in every day. I realized that each day, if you find one thing to be grateful for, you'll be able to enjoy life more. Because life won't love you, if you don't love life beforehand.

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Pleasure Beyond Measure

I like the squirts of ink splattered all around my fingers, but I hate it when the splashes get to my set of neat outfit, especially when I'm wearing a white T-shirt. The messier, I must say, the better. I like keeping it old school, writing on a piece of plain and empty paper, painting each words as an artist would mold its historical creations. I love it when my writings are not aligned and it gets even more untidy as it gets to the end. I hate it when my pen runs out of ink when I'm just about to get to the good part. I like reading what I write over and over and even love striking over the inappropriate words and write above it when I change my mind. I like how my writings look like a letter ready to be sent to a forbidden lover; it keeps so many secrets, yet it shows how you truly feel. I like the sudden additional words with an arrow pointing in between the words, thinking sometimes I miss a good adjective. Adjectives. Makes writing much more colorful. I love a good opening and closing. The moral of my writings are only as good as the beginning or ending. I hate it when I can't figure out the word that I'm meaning to write. I try hard finding a word that best describes what I'm trying to depict, and it's an unbelievable feeling when I finally get it right. I love my last and final review just before I publish it. Best part of writing though-- is when people get it.

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Exceptionally Enchanting

Recent Song on Play: Signal Fire- Snow Patrol

"...hold me close 'cause I need you to guide me to safety"

Acceptance. Everyone needs to feel accepted. Sometimes insecurities are caused as we grow up; as we make friends or it can happen as we started having silly little crushes. I learn that everyone wants to be wanted. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure some of you have had some kind of issues with how you look. Unbelievable how some people do crazy things to fit in. I'm not here to tell you that you're perfect, I'm actually here to tell you that you're imperfect, so live with it.

I'm no exception. I used to hate these pair of big eyes. I remember I love wearing glasses because it would make my eyes look a little bit smaller. Where I grew up, most of my friends are Chinese and I don't look anything like a Chinese. This is where I realized I'm different. And to top it all off, I once had a crush on a guy who lead me on just to diss me afterwards because I don't look like a Chinese.


I had weight issues back in elementary. I had a crush with someone 5 years older than I was, he called me... A flying pillow. It was a term for being a plus size. That's when I was slowly losing all my extra weight. I hate myself for it, for my excessive fat. People don't see it because I didn't show it.
It left little scars every now and then, but I guess time heals.

I'm not trying to be all motivational with this post, I'm not even going to try and convince you that everybody loves you no matter how you look on the outside. They won't love you for who you are, in fact you might be the sweetest apple up a tree and there are still people who don't like apples. You're unique and some people might make you think that it means you're different. But I grew up realizing that being different is good, don't let them tell you otherwise. That means you're perfectly being you, I mean think about it, nobody else is ever going to be good at being you. You don't have to change to be anybody else because if you change, you might miss out on someone who loves you for who you are. If they miss out on who you truly are, it's their loss, not yours. So find someone who still sees the beauty in you and still falls more in love with you after seeing your weird facial expressions, your unusual laugh, your constant bitching, your ugly days, your pig out days, the way you toss and turn in your sleep, your stupid jokes, the way you ask questions about things you should already know the answers to but he answers them anyways, your obsession with strange things, your random sounds, and your immaturity. You should be able to tell... If someone loves you for who you are.


keep the faith
xoxox

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Regrets (?)

Recent Song on Play: After All This Time- Simon Webbe
"She is loving him still... After all this time"


Been having the weirdest, most indescribable feelings lately. Didn't have the mood to read for long, write less than 2 paragraphs. Mom's cooking the rest of what's left from Palembang (what else, Pempek), yet all I want to do is puke on my bed. Must be the wolverine season in a matter of days.

I've been reading old blogs. Not mine, friends. And now I'm feeling... Mellow? Such an understatement, though. People say you shouldn't have regrets... I might beginning to think that I regretted this. Well, okay, I take that back, I have second thoughts. Will you regret the things that once made you happy? And I mean, very happy? Someone once asked me, "Aren't you ever tired?" And I ask him, "Why should I be?" Then he replied, "You know, having everything in life." It stunned me. Everything? I know I have all that I need, but everything? I definitely don't have a lot, but I think that's just about enough. Aside from outpouring love from my family and good friends, I just think I would never love someone ever again. Not after all that had happened and will happen in the future. And not having that, that person to unconditionally love and adore, would never make me have everything in life. I must be needing a little rehabilitation from all this thinking. It's my nature to think a little further than I should, which drives me nuts at times. There are just some things you can't change, and there's nothing you can do about it. Someone like me... Is better off alone.


"Maybe your definition of love had altered because your experience of reality had changed."

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