Regrets (?)

Recent Song on Play: After All This Time- Simon Webbe
"She is loving him still... After all this time"

Been having the weirdest, most indescribable feelings lately. Didn't have the mood to read for long, write less than 2 paragraphs. Mom's cooking the rest of what's left from Palembang (what else, Pempek), yet all I want to do is puke on my bed. Must be the wolverine season in a matter of days.

I've been reading old blogs. Not mine, friends. And now I'm feeling... Mellow? Such an understatement, though. People say you shouldn't have regrets... I might beginning to think that I regretted this. Well, okay, I take that back, I have second thoughts. Will you regret the things that once made you happy? And I mean, very happy? Someone once asked me, "Aren't you ever tired?" And I ask him, "Why should I be?" Then he replied, "You know, having everything in life." It stunned me. Everything? I know I have all that I need, but everything? I definitely don't have a lot, but I think that's just about enough. Aside from outpouring love from my family and good friends, I just think I would never love someone ever again. Not after all that had happened and will happen in the future. And not having that, that person to unconditionally love and adore, would never make me have everything in life. I must be needing a little rehabilitation from all this thinking. It's my nature to think a little further than I should, which drives me nuts at times. There are just some things you can't change, and there's nothing you can do about it. Someone like me... Is better off alone.

"Maybe your definition of love had altered because your experience of reality had changed."

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