Better or Bitter

Recent Song on Play: Someone Like You- Adele
"Nothing compares, no worries or cares,
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?"


The experience of love can make you a better or a bitter person. To me, so far, it has made me a more careless, rather numb, and somewhat a heartless human being. I hate seeing what I've become. I hurt people that have never had any intentions of hurting me, almost like wearing a suit made of knives, striking everyone who's trying to approach me. I like being alone because that way you can never hurt anyone. I just honestly don't see myself being loved by anyone; I mean seriously, how can someone love a person as miserable and impossible as I am? I've always thought of love as looking for someone who completes you, who fixes you as a puzzle... With me, the pieces aren't even complete, how can you possibly fix something that doesn't even have the whole set? I freaking frustrate myself, how can anyone ever stand me? I build walls and every time someone failed to break it down, I build a much harder wall to climb, even taller and thicker in time. I wouldn't want to date myself, let alone be near me. This is not some kind of disease, I just have a hard time trusting someone, people that left a mark didn't make it any easier for me. No need to play superhero here, I can't even save myself from me.

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