(Not-So-Secret) Thoughts to Girls

1. We sometimes don't even understand what we want.
2. We think the worst out of everything.
3. We get emotional for no reason.
4. We wonder how much we mean to you.
5. We don't always mean what we say.
6. We get insecure every time we see someone better.
7. We fake smiles... A lot.
8. We regret the things we say afterwards most of the time.
9. We care a lot more than we probably should.
10. We trust you, far more than we trust ourselves.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Speaks to Your Soul

Recent Song on Play: I Don't Trust Myself (Live Acoustic Version)- John Mayer
"Hold on to whatever you find, baby... Hold on to whatever will get you through...
I don't trust myself with loving you..."


Bob Marley once said, "One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." Other than books, music has always been an alternative of my escape... I guess everyone does that too, don't they? It's not a secret anymore, we always find comfort in music. I don't know anyone who doesn't. Anyone who feels music is nothing special in this world must have been living a pretty miserable life.

Music tells it all. It is honesty. That is why people make music when they're happy, when they're angry, when they're lonely or even better-- when they're in love. That's why the only good thing out of heartbreaks is that they make good music. To me, music is a permanent marker that gives you the same effect every time you listen to it, especially if it describes how you feel at the moment. Music leaves this sort of mark, carving memories as you give it a listen. You can forget the lyrics to the song, but you can never forget how music once made you feel.

Call me Ms. Over-Exaggeration, but it does bring you to another place sometimes, doesn't it? Takes your imagination to a whole another level. Music allows you to teleport to the beach, sometimes it lets you to remember a specific scenery, or even to a special moment that you vividly remember in the back of your mind. The amazing thing about music is that it changes your mood drastically. Gives you a good feeling or it suddenly turns you blue. Music is pretty much like a book, everyone has a different point of view from what they think of it. Two people may hear the same song, but it can never have the same meaning to each individual.

I saw someone left a comment regarding John Mayer's song "Not Myself" yesterday. This woman admitted to having a break with her husband and when her husband texted her to listen to this song, she realized that she has to still love him as much as when he's being his ordinary self. She said she tried being there for him and even give the space he needed. This song saved her in a way, even thanking John at the end of this post. I guess an artist's success is measured not only by their ability in making good melody, but also when their music speaks to other people's soul. Something people can relate to.

Music is a lot like love. It is not always rainbows and butterflies, not always the kind that is good to hear, or harmony that brightens your day. But at the end of the day, it's the one thing that reminds you how good life really is.


keep the faith
xoxox

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Human or Dancers (?)

The title must have popped out a song in your head that you can't get out of from now on until at least the end of this blog. The pressure to be perfect in this world is just humongous. And as we-- no matter how much realization there is on the back of our heads-- accept the fact that no one's perfect, we often times still try. As ordinary humans, we always fail. We fail to please people, we fail to be the best, we fail to reach our maximum potential. People make mistakes and can never be perfect. I realize that someone out there is always better. Someone is always a better writer, better use of vocab, better use of phrases, but that doesn't stop me from writing. Same goes to other things like singing or playing musical instruments or other things that caught your interest. If you stop just because someone is better, then there's no room for you in this world, you should never stop trying. Same goes with finding love. No one is perfect. But if you're lucky enough, you might find someone who suits you perfectly. If you lose someone who you think was best for you, time will let you meet someone better, trust me on that. Perfection is so overrated, which leads me to this one conclusion. This 5-letter words say it better than any other quotes in the world: After all, we're only human.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

One of Those Days

Recent Song on Play: Not Myself- John Mayer feat. Howie Day
"And I, in time, will come around, come around...
I always do for you..."


August is already coming to an end. To sum this month up, it was filled with happiness, with tears, with happy tears, and everything in between. I don't expect those of you who read to understand, but maybe I need some space to really pour out how I truly feel.

Have you ever felt like you're in a room full of people yet you feel so empty deep down inside? Have you ever felt like the moment's too perfect that it felt too good to be true? Have you ever just... Cry with no reason and feel stupid afterwards? Have you ever bear some sort of pain; so deep, that you can't even describe it to anyone and you could only wish for it to end? Have you ever put a wide smile on your face, just to get away from people asking you, "What's wrong?"? Have you ever felt not good enough, and maybe you won't ever be good enough? Have you ever wanted someone else's life? Have you ever compared yours to someone else's life? Have you ever wanted to be... Acknowledged? Have you ever see someone in the eye, and holding back your tongue, preventing hard to tell them how you feel? Have you ever just sit next to someone, trying so hard not to cry? Have you ever toss and turn at night, just being so anxious, with no particular reasons? Have you ever make scenarios in your head that you became so paranoid, even when it hasn't or never even become a reality? Have you ever felt like you've found a family outside a family? Have you ever been so happy that you wish you can press that day on repeat? Have you ever wondered what this day would be like... In exactly a year from now? Have you ever wish you'd be the reason to someone's happiness? Have you ever let go of something you should have held close? Have you question your dreams if they'll ever come true? Have you ever felt so happy when you see people smiling at you that it gives you this tingle feeling on the inside? Have you ever been so disappointed for someone's behavior but you just don't want to change them? Have you ever just wanted to runaway? Have you ever love someone so much that you know by not being with them is the only way to prove that you really love them? Have you ever miss someone... Too much that it scares you how much you worry about them?

Those are just some of the mixed emotions I have stirring this past one month. It's been a whirlwind. Come to think of it, this year has always been.


keep the faith,
[no matter how hard you have to try:')]
xoxox

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

See That Girl?

Yeah, she's the one who stuck up for you,
The one who stayed up until midnight just to talk to you,
She's the one whose heart flutters whenever she sees you on her phone or computer screen,
She's the one who fought for you,
The one that missed and loved you,

But by the time you realized she's the girl you want...
She'll already be with the guy who figured it out.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Challenges After Challenges

Recent Song On Play: How Do You Keep The Music Playing- Tony Bennett
"If we can be the best of lovers yet be the best of friends,
If we can try with every day, to make it better as it goes
With any luck than I suppose...
The music never ends..."


I've been to the point in life where I thought everything was a mistake, where nothing is right, where I can't even remember when was the last time I was truly happy about something. I thought about the sacrifices I made, the path I choose to take, the mistakes I deliberately made-- none of which I regretted. Funny how the life you live now is nothing like you imagined them to be. The people that came, the ones who walked away. How you choose to forget and let go, and maybe risk your heart of getting your heart broken again. Then you start questioning what you really want in life, at least where does the story go from here. All the broken wishes and promises teach you that changes will happen. It's not the outcome of things that matter, it's how you respond to them that counts. There will always be a way. Extraordinary people go through extraordinary challenges, so I've been told.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Why Girls Are Not Boys (D'oh!)

For once, we have something that they don't have. We have ovaries. The future of mankind depends on us woman. They can spray sperms all they want, but if there's no egg, there won't be any babies.

Speaking of kids, I've always had a ticklish feeling every time the thought of giving birth passes by. I've always wanted to be a Mom, but not a wife. See the difference here. Mom means you have kids, but not necessarily giving birth to them. You can adopt them and still become a foster Mom (excuse me, one of the victim of Blind Side). Being a wife is complicated. You take care of your husband, balance the whole household, not to mention if you have one heck of a hectic career. I know you won't be a whole and complete woman if you don't give birth. But I hope in the future I do... Eventually?

Should really stick to the whole "Adoption Without A Spouse" scenario I guess. No more heartbreaks, nothing given more, none taken less. But one thing that you will, one way or another, learn in life-- is that it goes on.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge-
That myth is more potent than history,
That dreams are more powerful than facts,
That hope always triumphs over experience,
That laughter is the only cure for grief,
And I believe that love is stronger than death."
- Robert Fulghum

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Breathing Underwater

Recent Song on Play: Talking To The Moon- Bruno Mars
"I know you're somewhere out there... Somewhere far away"


I was just reading my questions over on Formspring and I realized I promise someone (too bad I can't say a name since I have no idea who requested this) to write about long distance relationship. Once this song was on play, I got the writing mood on display. Yep, did it on purpose, made it rhyme. *quirky smile* I remember writing about distance earlier this year. Click here to see what I've written there.

Things are always easier said than done. Of course it's easier for us to talk about stuffs when you don't go through those things yourself-- just by having a say on things without personally experiencing them, but to me, to be utterly honest with you, there's always a first in everything. And if you want something bad enough, I know you won't stop until you get it.

The thing is, if you know how long you're going to be separated for, you'll know just how to keep yourself motivated, it's extremely excruciating to count down the days when you'll be able to see your loved one again, but sometimes that alone can keep you going. The hard part is when you live under uncertainties, you just have no idea when you're going to see them again. The three things that I learned are essential in any relationships are communication, trust and realizing that it can end at any given moment.

A good friend of mine, who has a lifetime crush since Elementary, left Indonesia for the U.S. The decision to move there was very sudden, he didn't say goodbye to the girl of his dreams, so it was no surprise that she was not happy about his departure. They didn't communicate for a year and after she graduated High School, she continued her studies to China, even found new love while she was there. My friend, who had a hard time forgetting about this girl, chose to wait for her, he didn't even know when he'll meet her again in the future. For 6 years he was living in a blur, he didn't had any other love interests, and even when he could have chosen an easier option, he held on to the girl that he thought was worth the wait. He promised himself that he'll visit China to see her, just to see if they can rekindle old flames. Turns out fate had a different plan for them. She visited the United States for the holidays and was able to spend a lot of time with him (talk about two months worth of a few years of endless waiting!). After 6 years of not meeting each other, I asked my friend how he felt about her now and he said, "When I first heard that she's going to visit the United States, I thought it was a joke. Even when I was on my way to the airport, I still think someone else would show up and tell me that it was a prank. But when I saw her walking towards me... When I see that girl in a pink T-Shirt, my heart skipped a beat. And I finally realized that the girl I've been waiting my whole life is here, and she's sitting and talking to me, right next to me while I was driving." I sensed his well-deserved happiness by the tone of his voice. I realized that what made it worked for them is that nothing really changed on both sides (maybe of course, except for the physical appearance).

Another friend of mine, having a relationship with her boyfriend of 5 years, had to be separated by distance-- she studies in Washington D.C. while her boyfriend stays in Jakarta. It's cliche to say and promise each other that they'll make it through anything, but they were willing to make it work. Determination, which I figured is also important and play a big part in your relationship, if nothing drives you to hold onto it, then why bother trying? It was a sad ending, since she didn't know when will be her next visit to Indonesia, and there's no conversations about the guy wanting to come to the United States. Again, living in uncertainty is hard, it's like you're hanging on a thin thread, fragile; and it can break in a matter of seconds. It was sad hearing them deciding to part, since I know both are giving their all, but who knows, if it's meant to be, it will be. Eventually.

Relationships-- without adding all the distance drama-- are hard enough. Communication can be done through technology, but then again, not being able to visibly reach them is not an easy matter. But always keep this in mind, relationships are not about the physical contacts. Sometimes it's these obstacles that can be a way of testing if they would really work hard to make things work. There will be changes, there will be trust issues, it's a matter of who's willing to remind each other that in order to make things work, both should give the same amount of effort. Just remember this, everything worth having is worth waiting for, because nothing that is valuable in life ever comes easy.


keep the faith
xoxox

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Meaning Of Love

I got this on my phone's notes for a while. I forgot where I got this, but I think it's from a broadcast message on my Blackberry Messenger. Find it sweet, so might as well spread the love here. The original message was in Bahasa and it was pretty long, did a bit of editing, but I hope by making it in English, it still wouldn't lost its meaning (hopefully it'll be easier for you to understand and so you'll still get the message).

A bunch of experts held a survey for children from the age of 4 to 8. "What is love?" The answers are astonishing. Who knew that children had a wide view of this God-given emotion. Take a look for yourself.

"When my Grandma had arthritis, she can't bend over and paint her nails again. So Grandpa did it for her, even when his hand caught arthritis too. That is love."
- Rebecca, 8 years old.

"When somebody loves you, the way of saying your name sounds different. You will know that by hearing them say your name, it's safe in their mouth."
- Billy, 4 years old.

"Love is when you go out and give someone a bigger portion of French Fries without asking them to give their food in return."
- Chrissy, 6 years old.

"Love is what makes you smile even when you're tired."
- Terri, 4 years old.

"Love is when my Mom makes a cup of coffee for Dad and she tastes it before giving it to him, just to make sure it tastes A-OK."
- Danny, 7 years old.

"When you want to learn to love more, you have to start with a friend that you hate."
- Nikka, 6 years old.

"Love is when you tell a boy that you like his shirt and he wears it every day."
- Noelle, 7 years old.

"Love is when an old lady and old man stay good friends even when they've known each other for a long time."
- Tommy, 6 years old.

"While at my piano recital, I was on stage and I was frightened. I saw everybody looking at me and I saw Dad waving his hand and smiling. He's the only person doing it. I wasn't afraid anymore."
- Cindy, 8 years old.

"My Mom loves me more than anyone in the world. You don't see any other person who would kiss me while I was sleeping soundly at night."
- Clair, 6 years old.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

I just don't want to go through the same bullshit all over again.
I grew weary thinking maybe someone is never meant to be for me.
Maybe a lonely life has always been my comfort zone, I'm scared of walking out of it.
'Cause I know how much I say I'm ready to see things unravel and end... I can just never get used to saying goodbye.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Que Sera, Sera

I made this on a Sunday, but it's not that I turn religious all of a sudden just because I go to church in the morning. I never feel like I live a perfect life, in fact, I live anywhere near a perfect life, but I live a pretty useful one, so to speak, although it drains a lot of my energy, thinking a little too much of everybody else. But I know I'm supposed to live when my life makes an impact on someone else's life. Whoever said life was easy must have been living a pretty dull one. Some people might question the presence of God. Me? I'm good enough with experiencing His presence through the things He has done in my life. I don't have to see things, taste things, or touch things to know it exist. Sometimes you just need to feel it.

So many people in this world crave of being famous and successful. Being famous and successful are two very different things. Famous means you're well-known, but it can also make you notorious-- which means you're being known for something negative. You can easily be famous, if you pull out a bizarre behavior. Few celebs name came popping in maybe? On the other hand, being successful means you made the most out of what you have, your potentials, talents, skills. (Please don't look at the dictionary, this is the definition made by me. Ha!) So, honestly, would you rather be famous or successful? First... You need to know what you have to do to get to either one.


Passion. This is where the desire pulls you some place. If you have a hard time figuring out your passion, find one thing that you always have a thing for, and secretly good at.

Empathy. What makes you want to do it? Why do you find it interesting? What is it about your passion that moves you?

Interest. It has got to be something you're serious about. Not just some kind of hobby that you currently have a thing for.

Divine intervention. Sometimes you don't know how or why, but it almost seem like doors are slowly opened for you. And no matter how much you try to run away, it just seems to show itself back right to you.

Productive. Of course, it has to be productive. If what you do makes you a better person, then you're on the right track.

Blessing to others. One of the most important thing that you have to remember is that you have to be useful not only to yourself, but for other people as well.

Success. When it's God who does all the work for you, there's no doubt that it will happen sooner or later. Not that you don't have to make any effort, but sometimes you need a much more reliable help to assist you to get where you want to be.

I've heard numerous stories of how pain and struggle can bring out the best potential of people. Like how Charice figured out her talents back in the days where her dad was being abusive of her mother, how she even witnessed her dad pointing a gun towards her mother. It's like she has accessed a place somewhere inside of her that people have never really been to. David Foster himself even admitted that her pain of the past made her talent grew a lot faster. Another example, a man name Sung-Bong Choi, who was abandoned in an orphanage at the 3 and ran away at the age of 5. For 10 years in a row, he lived all by himself. (Hmm... All by himself? Something I definitely can relate to *wink*) He sold energy drinks and gum, he didn't even go to school, his first education was straight up in High School. He auditioned for Korea's Got Talent and the judges were puzzled since he left the "Family" part blank in his application. The story of his journey touched my heart and so did his voice when he started singing. (Hint: He's the male and Korean version of Susan Boyle!) The judges were in awe and by August 20th, he'll be competing in the final and he can win about 280,000 US$ and a car. Click here to see the video.

Many times there's a point where I feel useless, like my life is just going nowhere, but there's always things that remind me that there's a big plan waiting for me. And that's the one thing that keeps me going, a promise. I know God has given me potentials that I would need to dig a little deeper, but once you know His calling, I know it won't be too hard. I know everyone has an equal chance to be successful, it' just that you have to change your ways of thinking. I get intimidated easily when things get tough, but I learn that once you won a battle, it will be even a hundred, million times harder on the next battle to come. You don't have to see things to know it exist. Sometimes all you need to do is believe.

Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches, or pounds, or college degrees, or family background, they are measured by the size of their thinking.- David Schwartz



keep the faith
xoxox

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS


Here's a post to Robert. This guy from Frameworks (A company hired by Mercedes Benz to train you how to present, do a catwalk and basically be a 'real' girl) taught me a lot. I learned how to walk properly, sit properly even stand properly from this guy right here. He boosted my self-esteem and made me discover the confidence I never had the courage to show. He's so patient dealing with my stubborn attitude, I give him a hard time sometimes but hopefully what he had taught me won't be in vain. He even forced me to come join Miss Indonesia, since one of the girls he trained entered last year's Miss Universe from Vietnam. But... Haven't got to that level of confidence to go straight to those prestigious beauty pageants. But I learned a lot, and Robert is definitely one of those people that contributed big changes in my life. Learning new things every time he's around.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Currently Listening...

To Ashlee Simpson's Autobiography album...


I miss the old rock'n'roll, edgy and ass-kicking Ashlee. Why do all singers in Hollywood started off amazing and ended up tragic? I love the color of her music, the tone to her voice AND THE SONGS. Her singles known worldwide such as Pieces Of Me, La La and Autobiography. My personal favorites-- to name a few-- are Love Me For Me, Shadow and Harder Everyday. I love how she makes love songs sound sweet yet still has that easy-listening rock to it, like how she sings in Love Makes The World Go Round. Her unique voice is quite a big help. Maybe because she had help from her old lover, Ryan Cabrera? Darn it, you two! Why do you have to part? Other artists that started off strong and ended up... Not so strong are... Avril Lavigne, not that I have a problem with a much more girly and all-grown-up image of Avril, but her rock chick image is already a good idea to stick with, too bad she didn't stick with it long enough. Britney Spears! HOW CAN I FORGET OOPS! I DID IT AGAIN?! Ever since her love life got to her head (Thank God her hair has grown!), her career pretty much fell to pieces. The only thing she's supposed to thank from her ex-hubby is beautiful genes. Thank God her kids are cute. Lady Gaga. I love her when she first came out with her Just Dance single. She seemed... Normal. Now, I just... Have no words to describe her. No, I completely run out of adjectives to describe her, or there's just no such vocab can ever be written in the dictionary to describe her. Who else... Rihanna? I guess I like her back in the Umbrella, Unfaithful and Pon De Replay days. I guess artists are all about recreating their image? It's fine I guess, as long as they don't lose themselves completely.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

...Do Us Part

(This is just a re-blog from the blog I did on my Tumblr on Monday, 8th of August 2011)

You can’t take back what was taken away from you.

Ironic, isn’t it? How you ask yourself, “Why?” How you thought it was unfair. You were overwhelmed by the loss you were forced to deal with. But that’s life. Life is all about options, but then again there are times where it doesn’t give you enough time to choose. And you can do nothing but live with the grief.

I’m sorry for being so emotional, I literally need to take a breather and pause for a while. This post is one of the hardest posts I have to do. It’s breaking my heart having to write this.

I remembered someone asked me once: “Would you rather see the one you love, love someone else, or would you rather never see the one you love ever again?”

It’s one thing if distance is the problem. It’s another thing if someone else gets in the way. But what if something else, something more of a divine intervention, such as death, that separates you with your loved one?

Someone I knew just lost her loved one. I wasn’t aware of her loss until I read her Tweets. What tears me even into bits of pieces is reading her Tumblr.

As strong as knowing someone is your better half, that feeling of assurance is just beyond any words that can describe. It’s great that she has already felt that connection with someone, she’s one of the lucky few.

I can’t imagine being in her position right now, just thinking about it gets me all emotional again. But I really do hope that there will be a silver lining, just like it always has been. Here’s a few of the Tumblr posts that got me teared up.

-Him: Aren’t you glad that your boyfriend is a good cook?
Her: No, I’m not. I’m grateful… for you… for everything that you could do or couldn’t do… for everything that you are.


-Her: I’ve never had so much fun with anyone before. We laugh a lot, and I can’t stop thanking God for creating such a wonderful person like you.


-Her: Is there anything longer than always? Cos that’s how long I’m gonna love you.


-Him: I’m sick of having to take care so many people. I just wish you could help me a little bit, by taking care of me.


-Him: Baby…
Her: Yes?
Him: Just wanna call your name…
Her: But that’s not my name.
Him: But you are my baby… Always my baby…

If you happen to be reading this, D… Be strong. I know it’s hard to be the strong person all the time… You have your share of happiness, I hope even when he’s gone, you can still share it to the whole world. The same bubbly D that I always know.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

The Cur(s)e


I don't see myself owning any business in the fashion section, I'd rather open one that has something to do with food. Not that I'm the best cook or anything, I just have a little more interest in the culinary business. Well since it's the month of Ramadhan for my Islamic buddies, I think there's no better time to help out than this time of the year. A friend of my Mom who owns a travel agency, told me that she needed help to sell out some items that she got from any other places, and of course with the power of the web, we shall conquer the world! MUAHAHA!

...note that I'm only half joking.

Many people from time to time have advised me to do a fashion blog, many of my friends have successfully done so, but I can't just pretend to do something that I am not fully interested in and as happy as I am for my other fashionista friends, I think I'm going to stick with writing crap and other nonsense.
BUT... This friend of Mom needed help with her stuffs and so I advised her to use a model *cough* *narcissistic much* to make the items look more attractive, and so I volunteered to model and also to put it up on my Facebook profile... Although I swore to myself I would never ride along the online shop boat, but I guess this can be an exception. (No worries, Facebook friends, I won't tag anyone!) Well who knows if she's generous enough to buy me a return ticket to Italy... Or Dubai... Or... Brazil. No, of course not, I'm not hoping for anything in return. This is solely based on personal relationship, not highly demanding business partners...

...but of course, I wouldn't say no to the return tickets.


Anyway, for the moment I'm trying out with the bags only, since I still don't know if it's going to work out or if it won't, so feel free to comment... Or purchase. Mehehe.

I had fun taking the pictures. I always love the candid and natural pictures more... So here's a preview of what the bags looked like.









...ugh, the last picture of the bunch just make it obvious how breast-less I am in real life.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

I beat myself up probably a lot more than I should.
I act like everything's okay when a matter of fact, everything's sucking me in like a tornado.
I help others too much when I'm the one that's in need of big help.
I probably care a lot more than I should.
I think of others more than I spend my time thinking about me.
Happiness is seeing someone else smiling.
I try solving others' problems when I need to solve mine.
Deep down I wish people cared more like I cared for them.
Maybe that's just wishful thinking.
Maybe happiness is overrated.
I wish I was normal... Living a life that's the same as everyone else's patterns.
I need to accept things. Grief, loss, failure.
I need to acknowledge love.
I need to let go of my insecurities.
I need to stop.
I need to be better and better and better. Even if it's not good enough.
I need to try a little harder.
I need...
You.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Don't ever let people tell you that you aren't good enough, because you are.
Don't ever give up on your dreams, because you need them.
Don't ever compromise your morals, because they make you who you are.
Don't ever hide your feelings, because someone's willing to hear them.
Don't ever think you've got it all figured out, because the next moment you won't.
Don't ever live your life in the past, because then you'll miss out on the now.
Don't ever let people bring you down, because they don't deserve to.
Don't ever be someone you aren't, because then you'll never know who you really are.
Don't ever let someone tell you how you feel, because it's not their right to.
Don't ever give up something that feels right, because it probably is.
Don't ever worry about the petty things, because they just don't matter.
Don't ever run away from your problems, because they always find you.
Don't ever be afraid to take risks, because they make life worth living.
Don't ever let someone take away your happiness, because it was never theirs to take.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Rose: I love you, Jack.
Jack: Don't you do that. Don't say your goodbyes. Not yet, do you understand me?
Rose: I'm so cold.
Jack: Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old lady warm in her bed, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?
Rose: I can't feel my body.
Jack: Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.
Rose: I promise.
Jack: Never let go.
Rose: I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go.

(Permission my dear one, to re-post this on my blog, I read this and nearly dropped a tear...
From Alicia Deswandy's blog.)

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

The Apple

Recent Song on Play: Sweet Sweet Sound- Sarah Reeves
"I am an instrument of a living God, my life a melody to His name..."


I've read Oprah once said, "You are responsible for your own future, no other person is or ever can be." I know we're the compass of our own destiny, and as much as we hate to admit it, we have to make the toughest call sometimes. The hardest decisions and the right decisions are often similar to one another.

But before you see the fruit of the tree, shouldn't you be checking the root of the tree? Meaning, before looking at the future, it's important to know where you came from, where your past lies. It's no mystery that home is where true education starts. School is not responsible for a person's character or habit. It might be, but most of the trait that human being carry for the rest of his life is from a place where he's always a part of, his family.

It really is up to them to be thanked or to be blamed for someone's growth. Research says that most convicts have parents who came behind the bars too. No question where amazing talents also came from, like David Beckham, his Dad was a big influence of his early career. Or how musicians who started from nothing, such as Charice and The Jonas Brothers, caught the music influence from their parents. Like Charice, for instance, David Foster admitted that it's her pain in the past that made her vocals strong like none other.

The past is a big part of someone's life. It says so much of the person that they are today. No one's past is the same, but I guess everyone has one thing in common. Everyone in life is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something.



keep the faith
xoxox

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Read My Mind

Girls:
I wonder how boys feel when they're in love. Do they get butterflies? Do they have you in your mind 24/7? Do they wait for you to come online for hours? Do they smile at random times at the thought of you? Do they miss you all the time? Do they think about the smallest things you say?


Boys:
We boys don’t get butterflies, we get fireworks. We don’t have you on our mind 24/7, but we do have you on our hearts. Often, yes we wait for you to go online, sometimes simply even just being online makes our heart skip a beat, even if we don’t talk. Whenever you talk to us, our face forms that half-smile; it means we are happy but are trying our hardest to not show it, and fail at hiding it. We do miss you all the time; granted, we’d spend all our time with you if possible. We don’t think of the smallest things you say, we think of every word you say, panicking at every single word, trying to define what it really means, to read between the lines. But wait there’s more.


We would love you in a million ways. And once we start loving you there is no going back for us. No matter how hard we try we will always love a girl that has touched us. Us boys when in love will think of that girl first thing in the morning, and think of that girl last before we sleep at night. Whenever we see a couple, our thoughts immediately jump to that girl, and imagine that the couple was us. Every single detail about her is loved; the way she walks, talks, speaks. The sound of her voice. Her laughter. The sparkle in her eyes. Her shy smile. The way she dresses. That cute face she makes when she’s asleep. And the way she says our name that our hearts just explode with mirth, a simple act that no-one else can replicate.

A boy in love with a girl is no simple thing, though ladies stereotype us guys as simple. A man in love is not simple. No. He will be unpredictable. He will be persistent, stubborn, and given the circumstances, if it means carrying you from one side of the world to the other to win your heart, a man in love would. He will be a martyr, giving his all and asking for almost none. He will show you how to appreciate the beauty of the world in a thousand ways, and then he will tell you how much he appreciates your beauty in a million ways.
A man in love is no simple thing.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Recent Song on Play: Dying- Five For Fighting
"I'm Dying... Dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again."

I know my family don't even know that I blog. But I just feel like writing this as a form of appreciation to my family members that didn't get the appreciation that they deserved.
This is to my Dad, who even though I don't see that often, has given me a happy childhood.
This is to my Mom, who even though never figured what I really want in life, has given me the gift of life.
This is to my Brother, who even though gets reckless at times, has given me the meaning of true love and friendship.
This is to my cousin, Christina Jennifer, who even though has a passion for designing things, has given a try to pursue her passion of broadcasting, and is now one of the trainees of Prambors Radio. I really hope you'll go far. I'm proud of you because you worked through the auditions and gave time to try and make it work even when distance was once an issue. When people have famous last names that they turn to, or broad links that bring them to their career, I'm proud of how you start from nothing and in the long run I believe it will definitely turn to something. And even though I'm quiet around you and we don't talk as much like we used to, now that we have many things for us to handle separately, you're still the cousin I will have the time of my life with.
This is to my other cousin, Stephanie Valencia, who even though just graduated High School and had to work just like your nerdy cousin right here, I know you're a brilliant young woman and it will bring you far. Strong women have to be strong for the family. I just heard news that your boss is going to pay your University tuitions and I can't be any more proud of you. I miss the sleepovers that we used to have.
This is to my uncle, Om Rudy, who brought our family name to gratification, I know the music stream flows heavily in our family blood, maybe nobody in the family has ever said it directly to you, but I'm proud of the performance you did in Japan.
This is to my other cousin, Adrienne Winarto, who brought me joy every time we meet and I do hope that her love story that she's in now will be endless and remains for eternity. (I just can't believe you're traveling to the United States, around Asia and going to Ireland for Christmas all in the same year... I feel like choking and hugging you at the same time.)

I'm just incredibly proud to be in the family that even though we don't come from a background of socialites or people with high authority, we come from a humble background, and even though so, I hope we'll ended up somewhere worthy, a line of family where people will remember us by.


keep the faith
xoxox

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

No Matter How Small

Sometimes we're so focused on the big things in life that we don't pay much attention to the small things in life, which can actually be the things that can change your life. Try remembering the last time you walked into a lavish hotel, do you still remember the face of the janitor that you might accidentally came across with? In life I learned that you never underestimate anyone, no matter how unattractive some people may seem, you just never know the potential they have behind all the things that are visible to the eyes. For example, Mercedes Benz always taught me that every customer deserve the same amount of attention, no matter how "poor" or "expensive" they may look, some people are indeed, more than meets the eye. An old man wearing Swallow flip flops and Sarung went in to buy a half a million dollar car, the SLS AMG. Turns out he's an owner of a big Batik company in Solo. So, you can't judge people by their appearance, it'll do you wonders if you would stop for a minute just to know them better.

Let me tell you another interesting story about a husband and his wife, who wanted to build a memorial for their child who died of an accidental murder. The couple didn't look like much, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, came to Harvard-- the place where their only son study for University-- in the hopes of seeing the president of the University and telling him the idea of constructing the remembrance of their only son. "We'd like to see the president," said the man to the secretary. With no signs of interest, the secretary replied, "Have you made an appointment?" The man shook his head and the secretary unwillingly said, "He will be busy all day." The wife, however, didn't show any signs of giving up, she told the secretary that they'll be willing to wait.

The secretary didn't pay any attention to the ever so patient husband and wife who decided to wait until they see the president. The secretary actually thought that they would not be waiting this long and so even though the secretary didn't do it wholeheartedly, she finally decided to disturb the president. "Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave," she regretted having to interrupt the president. He sighed and finally spared a minute or two to meet with the disruptive couple.

"We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus," the wife told the president about their idea of building something to remember his son by. The president wasn't touched. In fact, he replied to them with arrogance, "Madam, we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."

He must have thought of the idea as a joke. A statue? What importance does this child have ever shown in Harvard that he, a nobody, deserve a statue as a tribute of remembering his life?

"Oh, no," continued the lady, "we don't plan on building a statue to remember him by." The president questioned on his head on where this is going, his forehead wrinkled. "We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."

He glanced at them like they're causing some kind of shenanigans. "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard," the man exclaimed. For a moment, the wife turned quiet. The president looked please. He thought that maybe that could get rid of those silly thoughts. "Construct a building? How foolish," he might have thought to himself. The wife turned to her husband and whispered, "Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?" Her husband nodded. The president was left confused. The couple established a university that bears their name, Stanford University, also a memorial to a son who once sought education in Harvard University.

The story of Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford is somewhat funny and also very moving. A good reminder of how sometimes people aren't always what they seem, how deceiving the physical appearance can be. Will you give the same chances to people that you think are not deserving as some others are? Think about it, no matter how small some people take parts in this life, without the small things, there won't be the big things. It's tough to be the people who do all the cleaning in the malls, on the roads, other places else, but somebody has got to do it. But be nice to everyone, you'll never know where a year or two might lead them to.

"People will forget what you said; People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel."


keep the faith
xoxox

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Big Question Mark

For someone whose life has never been well planned, I want that boring ol' routine-oriented life that everyone seem to have. Has a very neat pattern to it that you feel secure with everything in life. How can you feel so uncertain in life? How every aspects never come with an assured promise? Even the things you want and have planned so very well can never turn out how you want them to be? Am I a rebel for wanting things my way just every once in a while? Sometimes I feel it's unfair how life supposedly give you choices but the choices have been chosen for you, what's the point of being given the option in the first place? So unfair.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

The Path

Recent Song on Play: This = Love
"Love is why we fall down and get back up again,
This is where the heart lies, this is from above,
Love is this, this is love..."


Hello, it's little miss Don't-Know-Where-To-Pour-Out-Her-Emotions-To-So-She-Turns-To-Blogging again! First blog in August. Can't believe we're coming to an end of 2011 minute by minute. Counting down until we welcome 2012, every year that comes along always stun me, we'll see how this next one goes.

"The path you never chose has chosen you." A line from one of Jason Mraz's song that jumped out the song every time I hear it. Funny how your life sometimes turns out. The things you never thought of doing, you do; and the things you've always wanted to do, are just not the things that are meant for you. A simple reminder that sometimes life is not always a walk in the park. You might want something so bad but it's just not how life turns out. Life might have a different plan for you, no matter how perfect your plan for life is.

read comments
  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS