Breathing Underwater

Recent Song on Play: Talking To The Moon- Bruno Mars
"I know you're somewhere out there... Somewhere far away"

I was just reading my questions over on Formspring and I realized I promise someone (too bad I can't say a name since I have no idea who requested this) to write about long distance relationship. Once this song was on play, I got the writing mood on display. Yep, did it on purpose, made it rhyme. *quirky smile* I remember writing about distance earlier this year. Click here to see what I've written there.

Things are always easier said than done. Of course it's easier for us to talk about stuffs when you don't go through those things yourself-- just by having a say on things without personally experiencing them, but to me, to be utterly honest with you, there's always a first in everything. And if you want something bad enough, I know you won't stop until you get it.

The thing is, if you know how long you're going to be separated for, you'll know just how to keep yourself motivated, it's extremely excruciating to count down the days when you'll be able to see your loved one again, but sometimes that alone can keep you going. The hard part is when you live under uncertainties, you just have no idea when you're going to see them again. The three things that I learned are essential in any relationships are communication, trust and realizing that it can end at any given moment.

A good friend of mine, who has a lifetime crush since Elementary, left Indonesia for the U.S. The decision to move there was very sudden, he didn't say goodbye to the girl of his dreams, so it was no surprise that she was not happy about his departure. They didn't communicate for a year and after she graduated High School, she continued her studies to China, even found new love while she was there. My friend, who had a hard time forgetting about this girl, chose to wait for her, he didn't even know when he'll meet her again in the future. For 6 years he was living in a blur, he didn't had any other love interests, and even when he could have chosen an easier option, he held on to the girl that he thought was worth the wait. He promised himself that he'll visit China to see her, just to see if they can rekindle old flames. Turns out fate had a different plan for them. She visited the United States for the holidays and was able to spend a lot of time with him (talk about two months worth of a few years of endless waiting!). After 6 years of not meeting each other, I asked my friend how he felt about her now and he said, "When I first heard that she's going to visit the United States, I thought it was a joke. Even when I was on my way to the airport, I still think someone else would show up and tell me that it was a prank. But when I saw her walking towards me... When I see that girl in a pink T-Shirt, my heart skipped a beat. And I finally realized that the girl I've been waiting my whole life is here, and she's sitting and talking to me, right next to me while I was driving." I sensed his well-deserved happiness by the tone of his voice. I realized that what made it worked for them is that nothing really changed on both sides (maybe of course, except for the physical appearance).

Another friend of mine, having a relationship with her boyfriend of 5 years, had to be separated by distance-- she studies in Washington D.C. while her boyfriend stays in Jakarta. It's cliche to say and promise each other that they'll make it through anything, but they were willing to make it work. Determination, which I figured is also important and play a big part in your relationship, if nothing drives you to hold onto it, then why bother trying? It was a sad ending, since she didn't know when will be her next visit to Indonesia, and there's no conversations about the guy wanting to come to the United States. Again, living in uncertainty is hard, it's like you're hanging on a thin thread, fragile; and it can break in a matter of seconds. It was sad hearing them deciding to part, since I know both are giving their all, but who knows, if it's meant to be, it will be. Eventually.

Relationships-- without adding all the distance drama-- are hard enough. Communication can be done through technology, but then again, not being able to visibly reach them is not an easy matter. But always keep this in mind, relationships are not about the physical contacts. Sometimes it's these obstacles that can be a way of testing if they would really work hard to make things work. There will be changes, there will be trust issues, it's a matter of who's willing to remind each other that in order to make things work, both should give the same amount of effort. Just remember this, everything worth having is worth waiting for, because nothing that is valuable in life ever comes easy.

keep the faith

  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS