One of Those Days

Recent Song on Play: Not Myself- John Mayer feat. Howie Day
"And I, in time, will come around, come around...
I always do for you..."


August is already coming to an end. To sum this month up, it was filled with happiness, with tears, with happy tears, and everything in between. I don't expect those of you who read to understand, but maybe I need some space to really pour out how I truly feel.

Have you ever felt like you're in a room full of people yet you feel so empty deep down inside? Have you ever felt like the moment's too perfect that it felt too good to be true? Have you ever just... Cry with no reason and feel stupid afterwards? Have you ever bear some sort of pain; so deep, that you can't even describe it to anyone and you could only wish for it to end? Have you ever put a wide smile on your face, just to get away from people asking you, "What's wrong?"? Have you ever felt not good enough, and maybe you won't ever be good enough? Have you ever wanted someone else's life? Have you ever compared yours to someone else's life? Have you ever wanted to be... Acknowledged? Have you ever see someone in the eye, and holding back your tongue, preventing hard to tell them how you feel? Have you ever just sit next to someone, trying so hard not to cry? Have you ever toss and turn at night, just being so anxious, with no particular reasons? Have you ever make scenarios in your head that you became so paranoid, even when it hasn't or never even become a reality? Have you ever felt like you've found a family outside a family? Have you ever been so happy that you wish you can press that day on repeat? Have you ever wondered what this day would be like... In exactly a year from now? Have you ever wish you'd be the reason to someone's happiness? Have you ever let go of something you should have held close? Have you question your dreams if they'll ever come true? Have you ever felt so happy when you see people smiling at you that it gives you this tingle feeling on the inside? Have you ever been so disappointed for someone's behavior but you just don't want to change them? Have you ever just wanted to runaway? Have you ever love someone so much that you know by not being with them is the only way to prove that you really love them? Have you ever miss someone... Too much that it scares you how much you worry about them?

Those are just some of the mixed emotions I have stirring this past one month. It's been a whirlwind. Come to think of it, this year has always been.


keep the faith,
[no matter how hard you have to try:')]
xoxox

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