In The Name Of Love

Recent Song On Play: Rocketeer (Demo Version)- Far East Movement ft. Bruno Mars

What I will be writing about on this post might come across as a sensitive topic, feel free to speak up your mind and cast an opinion, but this is just what I think about it, so I don't force you to take everything too seriously, this is just something from my point of view.

If you have a bag of pebbles with you, will you give it away for free? Sure you will. Pebbles can be found everywhere, even better, anywhere at all. On the pavements, outside the house, it is definitely something that is not a considerable value, of course when you give one out, you have nothing to lose. You can always find another. But what if you're gifted with just one diamond inside a pouch? Of course you wouldn't just give it to anyone, will you? You know the price, the amount of importance it carries. Same goes with virginity. A lot of people take it as if it's not a big deal, they do what they please with it, as if it means nothing.

Take this Brazilian beauty for example, who is big on the runway and not a stranger to magazine covers. She is known for taking Bible to read while getting ready for fashion shows, and never even miss church on Sunday. "Sex is for after marriage," she admitted. "They [men] have to respect that this is my choice. If there's no respect, that means they don't want me," explaining to GQ that she remains a virgin until marriage. Runway, magazine covers... It's no secret that she must be a model. But not just any model, she's Victoria's Secret royalty, Mrs. Adriana Lima, of course. Who the heck is Adriana Lima? Question no more...



Just because she doesn't want sex before marriage, doesn't mean she can't tempt those guys to wanna lay their hands on her :p Just kidding, to me she's just being professional as a model. But still, moral and values are held close to her heart.
"I like to think of myself as the girl that no one can get, that no one can keep in their hand"


Other celebs opening up about their opinion on staying a virgin until marriage are Gary Coleman, Tina Fey, Nick Jonas:3:3:3 (Love of My Life, literally speaking) and Friends' Lisa Kudrow. "It’ll happen when it’ll happen,” said Gary Coleman, “And it’ll happen for all the right reasons. And no one is going to make it happen any sooner."

30 Rock’s greatest, Tina Fey, who is also a writer for Lindsay Lohan's chick flick, Mean Girls, had remained a virgin until she met her husband Jeff Richmond when she was 25. Tina and Jeff had been dating for seven years before they got married in 2001. Now the couple are proud parents to an adorable daughter and later on were gifted with their second child.
Nick Jonas seemed to be the only Jonas Brother who has this purity ring going on these days. Since brother Kevin is married and other brother Joe reportedly bring the ring to rest after spotted with that other Twilight beauty, Ashley Greene. Nick admitted that this purity ring is a symbol, "Promises to ourselves and to God that we’ll stay pure 'til marriage."

Marry me, please, please, please...
...what do you mean desperate? Who's sounding desperate?

Lisa Kudrow lost virginity at the age of 31 when she married her now husband Michael Stern. "I was very uptight and really nervous about my sexuality,” Kudrow admitted and continued on her opinion about it, “My virginity was something I had decided was very precious to give away. It was an honor-- I was bestowing on a young man and he had to be worthy of it.”

Yes, for some people, it might not be something with great value. But to me, since you can only use it once, virginity is best given to someone that is also the one person you will spend the rest of your life with. If someone asked you for sex in the name of love, then they're lying. If they really do love you, they'll do it after they vowed that you're going to be the only person he/she is going to do it with. Give the 'diamond' as a present for your future husband or wife since it can't be found any place else and that it is priceless. Do it in the name of love, real love. So save the best for last. Why rush to sex? You got plenty of time to do so after you're married.




keep the faith
xoxox

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Video Blog #1: Unscripted

video


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I didn't remember being this miserable all the time. Thinking it will work out at the end, but why does it take a lot of arguments? Was it my fault? Or was I too blind to see the signs? Sure I see them, but I ignore it most of the time. I remember the last time I fell in love, it felt amazing. So why do I feel disconnected this time? I thought it was going to be effortless, everything will work its way out... But no, it doesn't work that way. I don't remember hurting so much. Something just doesn't feel right.

:'[

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Journal To Survival #2- The 'C' Word

Recent Song On Play: Love Love Love- Hope feat. Jason Mraz

Yes, it's that time of the week again. We have come to our second lesson in our journey to moving on. Oh, trust me... You don't have to experience a broken heart to hate this one. My friend, I believe it is something we deal every day, whether we like it or not. It is both a blessing and a curse. It will happen whether you've been good or bad. But on the contrary, it will happen even when we pray our blood cells out that it won't happen to us.

Changes. I've warned you, we surely dread this one. From deleting pictures off our phones, text messages, every memory they left behind. It may appear to be a simple matter, but so help me God... It is a tough one. People easily advise us to just throw away whatever things that might make it harder, but the thing is, those things are a reminder that you were very happy once. With someone you dearly love. But yes of course, to make things easier, you have to get it over with, it will be less painful in time.

Especially with not seeing them as often as you used to. Something that is a monthly, weekly, or even daily basis. When you share routines with them, it gets even harder to remove it out of your system. Erasing a habit is as hard as creating one. All you need to do is just keep doing it, over and over, until you're used to it. That is why we never stopped loving someone, we just learn to live without them.

Sometimes you deny the fact that he's gone from your life, wishing that he would magically appear on your mobile phone, or say 'Hi' on BBM, but no... He won't. Get yourself some reality check and see that things have definitely changed. See the beauty of changes, it makes you a better person. Someone stronger, a lot more independent.

Now you have time to do things that you might haven't had time for. Maybe your interests might come back and even grow, now that you don't spend too much time worrying about love. Don't give up just yet. There's still hope somewhere. The only way love will find you is when you stop looking. Get used to changes, it might take you to a place you have never imagined. Trust me, I've been there.


keep the faith
xoxox

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Keys To Loving

Deal with the wrong guys, get your heart broken, how else are you going to know if someone's right for you?
If he was to lose you, remember that he's giving up on someone amazing. Know your worth, love yourself. Don't sell yourself short.
Fall in love, fall out of love, forget the rules for a moment, this game has none.
Use your brain, crash even harder. Think it will last, think it will fall apart, embrace every little thing coming your way.
Listen to love songs, sing to them, remember why it all happened, how it all happened.
Don't forget; those things-- good or bad-- make you this way, the person you are right now.
Remember that someone loves you, a friend, a family member, you are someone important to another.
Take risks, deal with the consequences, see if it's all worth it at the end.
You'll never know unless you try.

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If I let you in, you'd just want out.
If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie.
If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up.
If you follow me, you will only get lost.
If you try to get closer, we'll only lose touch.
Yes you already know too much, and you're not going anywhere.

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All Is Well

Recent Song On Play: What Goes Around... Comes Around- Justin Timberlake

Life is a little confusing. Sometimes I wonder if God really do take care of me, it is something us human do, being doubtful in times of trouble. In times of need, sometimes we opted for a much easier choice just because we're growing weary. But after I saw the bigger picture, I finally came to my senses that it is for the better. Recently, I was offered a job from someone that once had an experience of hiring me as a presenter, but my heart's not entirely in it, because the client wanted me to wear an outfit that is a little "appealing." Not provocative, just a little more engaging than what I used to wear. Some people even think it's normal and okay for an entertainer, but I just wasn't into the whole thing. So I kindly rejected the offer, a little uncertain in the back of my mind, thinking that I might just be regretful afterwards, but I just won't do something just because it produces good money. So a little while after it, someone also offered another job which even made better income and a much more respectful client, he gave me the liberty to wear anything I feel like wearing and he'll take care of it. The job was a breeze and the client felt satisfied with how I did, even wanted to do a lot more in the future. I was just... Amazed and stunned. I was given something that I didn't think about before. Even better than I thought in the first place. Another story that is pretty interesting is that there's recently a job that I was given to, but my friend said she wanted to take the job that I was offered to. So I asked the client if it was okay if my friend takes my slot and the client was nice enough to let her take it. And not long after that, someone actually offered me another job early October and I was thankful that even when I gave someone my right, I was given something better as a prize, even when I didn't see this coming. But my friend canceled last minute, so I still got to do both things, which is... Just out of my surprise. Note that I'm writing all this without the desire to brag. I just want to tell you that everything is going to be okay in the end. And someone like me needs to be reminded all the time, I worry a lot, things like this teaches me that I need to "surrender." And believe... That all is well.
Yes, all is well.


keep the faith
xoxox

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Love Is Something Divine

Love is something divine. Love is about looking at someone, and your heart has a slightly different feeling compared to anybody else in the Universe. It's about wanting one person; and one person only. That is why people get married at the end. For others who sleep around and don't settle down, they live the most lonely life. They don't know love. Love is not something you see in the movies, it's about something you experience. It beats to the rhythm of compassion. It makes you happy, even when tests and trials come around. Love is so precious and rare that you don't just get it anywhere, it needs to be found. So when you found love, hold onto it. It might not come around twice. Most of the time, they don't. People who satisfy their lust will never have enough. They'd search for other qualities they don't find in their partner, for they don't feel complete. It's not their partner's fault, it's his own fault. It's his job and duty to complete the other. Imperfection is perfect, that is why love has its ups and downs. Love is sacred, that is why only two people are responsible to make the oath to each other, not three or four. Relationships need one person to direct the boat and the other to steer it, if there are many people involved, there's a big possibility that the ship might sink. Love is a great amount of sacrifice. It is tightly bonded with loyalty, trust and forgiveness. True love gives, but never expect. Love is what give life its true meaning. Love is what makes life worth living. Love is something worth dying for.


...and yes, this is an original. No need to ask me on Formspring.

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Take A Stand

Recent Song On Play: I Don't Trust Myself With Loving You- John Mayer

I still don't get how my brain works. Most of the time, it works beyond my will and power, so it has the power to scare me every once in a while. Or every time something is just out of my ordinary system, I become paranoid of my own thoughts, I'm even afraid that someone is able to read my thoughts. I guess I'm a dreamer. But hey, that is one of the things that kept me going all these years.

Just like how I stay unattached. I completely acknowledge the single life. It's somewhat liberating. You don't have to waste time wondering where someone is, what this person is doing, realizing how much he's occupying your thoughts at any given moment. You're safe and sound; from heartbreaks, from jealousy, from all kinds of worry and drama. If your choice in life-- at one point or another-- is marriage, then you'll be just fine. You'll spend half of your life with someone you get to annoy for the rest of your life, why rush to that point at this early days of your youth? Aren't you more interested in chasing your dreams, making lots of friends and making your parents proud of you?

We're all a little afraid inside, aren't we? A little afraid of falling in love, a little afraid of failing, of losing, of goodbyes, of being betrayed or heartbroken. Every passing year, we shake the hands of people who just came into our lives, pretty much equal to the waves of goodbye we gave to the people that left. Abroad, or maybe never returning. Ever again.

I miss this... I miss writing. Just being outspoken about what's on my mind. I forgot how vulnerable I become when I write. Life for me, has always take its unexpected turns. It's a surprise every time. So when people complain about how dull and boring their lives are, I'm slightly annoyed how unexpected mine is, even sometimes wonder how is it like to live a very patterned, routine-oriented life people live. Not that I'm complaining, though. I'm grateful. For very supportive people in my life, no matter what or how I do in life.

I'm just like each and every one of you, trying to figure out all the broken puzzle in life. At times things fit perfectly, other times it's scattered all around the floor. But however it might end up or how big the result would be, I believe it's going to make a very beautiful picture.


keep the faith
xoxox

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Journal To Survival #1- Realization

Recent Song On Play: My Boo- Usher feat. Alicia Keys

The hardest part about losing something is this: Realizing that it is lost. Sometimes it takes a little more time to cope with loss. Acceptance. Realizing that life goes on. You begin to wonder what your life would be without them from that moment onwards. They have become so much of a part of you that when they left, you lost a part of you too. Especially if you've found so much comfort in them.

Just realize that it's over. Realize that you're not going to see them as often as you used to. Realize that everything will change. Realize that you're on your own. Realize that you need to get yourself back together.

It will take a while to heal. I'm not even going to lie and say that it will be a piece of cake, because it won't be a breeze. Somehow it makes you reckless. It begins to take a lot of your sleeping time. Your mind wanders to how it went wrong and you thought about what could have been.

Or there has always been signs all along, you were just too stupid or blind to see. Maybe as you would like to call it, too in love. Goodbye is an easy word to say from the lips, but a tough one to mean from the heart. Moving on is a long way to go, you need to accept the parting between you two first. This is where your heart needs to decide if you want to hold onto the memories or let go of the pain. When you know what you want, it won't be too hard to go on from there.

It's okay to break down into tears, you don't have to be the strong person all the time. Cry your heart out if you want to. It doesn't make everything okay again, but it does make you feel better. Don't bear it all inside, let it out. It's healthier that way. Imagine losing your favorite item in the whole world, something that is a part of your every day life. Must be pretty heart-breaking to know that it's not a part of your daily life anymore. It's even harder when you have to deal with losing your favorite person this whole time.

If you think it’s time to let go, then just let go. There’s no point in looking back to what you have already lost.

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Not Myself

Recent Song On Play: Shadow- Ashlee Simpson

Sorry for the lack of posts this month. Been such a busy month in so many ways. Both emotionally and physically draining every inch of me. Yet so many postponed thoughts I have been wanting to write here. My English is getting rusty and I need to write more. Please remind me that I need to get straight to business and not procrastinate. I miss writing, I'm not over-exaggerating, but it almost felt like I lost a little part of me when I don't write, and every time I don't write for some time, I need to warm up a little bit to get back on track, but I'm more than happy to be home. My apologies for the mellow posts for the past few days, too. Just haven't been... Feeling like myself. Funny how I hate changes; but as time goes by, it's these changes that happened gradually are the ones that I find are the ones to watch. I'm going to do a new set of posts, it's called the Journal to Survival. I guess it's just something I came up with in terms of dealing with heartbreaks. So, be sure to have a read on that... Well that is all from me now, I gotta run but I'll be back in no time... From the bottom of my heart, I do love all of you.

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Sometimes it's easier for me to pretend rather than to face my feelings. Sometimes it's easier to try to make it alone rather than risk getting hurt again. Sometimes it's easier to be numb towards certain people so I don't let them get too close. Sometimes I'm scared, but when I act numb towards you, it doesn't mean I don't care. It means I care too much. But it's almost like you had it planned, you smiled at me and introduced yourself and said the right words at the right time, when really you should have said "I'm about to screw you over."

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Whenever people say, "Oh, I've heard a lot about you!" I'm always so surprised. I thought no one ever paid much attention to me-- or that I was ever in their mind enough to talk to other people about me. I've always just thought of myself as some kind of living ghost, you see.

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Frequently Asked Outrage

Too many wrong people ask the wrong questions at the wrong amount of time. They act as if they know everything. They are appallingly irritating, prying to know everything. They get a little carried away, when questions started becoming judgments.

It's not that I don't want to go to college, I want to, I just chose not to. When Dad left, I had no choice. The choice was chosen for me. I can spend my life, whining why I can't go to college, but no, I chose not to do so either. I'm not stupid for not going to college, I'm still here with my dreams, but sometimes when you love someone, particularly your Mother, the woman who gave you life straight from her vagina, and your brother, someone who once hit you with a guitar because he lost grip and conscious, you'll put their needs first before your own. So I put my dreams on hold (or even gave up on them?). I didn't study Psychology/Broadcasting/Journalism, the three things I've been wanting to do my whole life, so blog is my escape, Twitter is now, too.

It's not that I don't want a boyfriend, or I'm too picky, or I can't see the good in the guy that fell for me, I don't have high qualifications in terms of guys... I'm just lucky that God somehow showed who they really are before I made it official. If you say that being picky means I don't date jerks, then so be it, I'm waaay too picky.

You know nothing about my life. You don't know half the sh*t I deal with. You're not me, stop acting like you know every single detail about me.

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You don't have to believe me, but I believe in what I believe in, so I might as well believe that this is true. Click here to see what I'm talking about.

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There's something about the frailty of my emotions. How badly it hurts when words cut me deep and how broken my ego has become. Fragile with brittle ideas and not much left to care for. Mocked by bruised ambitions and painful reflections. Even smiling makes my face ache in the worst way possible. It hurts to feel anything. So I've chosen to feel nothing at all.

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Dear Parents...

It's pointless trying to make a point that I fully am up against with.

When we're simply stating a point, we're not trying to act smart, that's when we feel like we have to stand up for ourselves.

We grow up, we get to know things a little better, what you went through in the past is nothing like what we go through in the present.

We understand that you're just trying to protect us, but sometimes you're slightly over-doing it.

No, we don't need you to embarrass us any more than you did.

I'm not going to make the same mistakes that you did, I'm going to make my own mistakes.


The chains you put around us might put our body into confinement, but it only makes our soul run free.

We believe you, but sometimes we know ourselves better than you do.

Basically, we just hate having to argue with you.

We're pretty sure you've been a teenager before, but we're even more sure that we've never been an adult before, sometimes we just expect a little bit of an understanding.

When we're quiet, we hold back the things running in our mind that we fully know can hurt you, because deep down, we just truly love you.

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So Please Don't Stop The Rain...

Think about it. If we don't have any problems, we won't ever be able to tell which friend is true, which ones aren't. When it's raining, you'll know who to turn to for shelter, who will suddenly show up without any invitation in advance, or who will even more shockingly-- leave you in the rain. Problems can even bring you and your friends (or even family) closer. So it really is your pick, whether you want to bring out the best in you, or show the worst in you.

Not that I'm saying that it's good to always have problems, it's more like saying that maybe, just maybe, it's always meant to be imperfect. Like one of my favorite sayings that says, "If today would've been perfect, there wouldn't be any tomorrow." I've always thought that it's so devastating that a problem is not done, and another one is already on its way, but I realized that if life was perfect, it would've been boring, and I wouldn't be able to tell if someone's a real friend.

Life is simple, if someone is meant for you, they'll stick long enough with you 'til who knows when, but if they're not, they'll leave soon enough before we even realize they mean somebody to us. Losing someone is painful, but the way I see it, it's more like a blessing in disguise. You can't really spell the 'rainbow' without the 'rain.' So, keep your eyes focused on the rainbow at the end of the rain, no matter how heavy the rain is. Bigger and better things to come, people!



keep the faith
xoxox

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Home

Have you ever been surrounded by a group of people that you know but feel so distant from them, almost this lonely feeling? I know it kinda sounded like nonsense, but that can happen too sometimes. Especially if there's someone that you wish were present wasn't there. Many people mistaken the definition of a house and a home. A house is a building that is made up of several rooms, maybe a kitchen and all the furniture that came along with it. Whereas a home, is more than just something you can grasp with your own two hands, home is this secure feeling that is felt whenever you feel safe. Often times people feel home outside their own houses.

A man who is a passionate traveler has just arrived at one of those exotic destinations he has been longing to go to. He always brings his wife along his journey, trying to spend every given moment with his beloved other half. It has always been an adventure, his life to him was never a bore. This man has no trouble with making all the right friends whenever he arrived at a certain place, which helped him a lot whenever he is having a trip at some place. One day while he was bonding with the other natives where he's staying, he was enthusiastically talking about all the places he has traveled to, sharing what was all they need to know about the interesting people he met, the languages he quickly picked up, the sights he has never seen before in travel books and all the stories he has experienced firsthand, until one of the curious man that he's having conversations with asked him a question he has never been asked before. "Isn't it tiring though? Not having a permanent house? To have go here and there all the time, but no place where you can settle?" this man asked with curiosity clouding in his head. The traveler smiled. He gently replied, "Well, you have to know this... Because this kind of life was my choice. Of course those kind of thoughts came haunting me and I still don't know when will I stop living like this," he paused and looked to another direction. "But you see," this traveler continued while raising his glass and pointing towards his wife, "home is wherever she is."

Yes, to me home doesn't provide a roof or come with walls. A house does. Home is what you find in people that you love. A house is not a home because a home is where the heart resides.



keep the faith
xoxox

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