Letting Go

Recent Song On Play: Gravity- Sara Bareilles

DM on Twitter won't fit so I guess this is a much easier option for me. I'm setting you free now. No matter how hard it is for me to do so, but thank you for letting me go. This time, after all the things you said, I really think it's for the best, you'll probably thank me in the long run. We got so many people fooled with the act that we tried to pull off that we're really over when we never really were... But I guess this one's for real. I know if we keep on doing this, if I keep on trying to save it, I will be such a burden for you to find another. I'm letting you go because you're going to find someone better, trust me. I know someday I might regret this, and by the time I realize that, I know you'll be happy, with someone who can sincerely, truly and genuinely make you happy. I've seen it coming to an end a couple of times before... And I know it's going to be hard, knowing how deep I've thoroughly fallen for you. I'm not going to cause any trouble for you anymore, knowing that you've mentioned you're much happier when you work alone. Back then you even admitted it was your best radio show after we fought. For God's sake, we just fought, darn it. How can you Tweeted that it was the best radio show that you did. You know me so well that as a writer, words have the ultimate power to hurt me. I was crying, you were laughing. You said you're happier when you're with me, but obviously everything you've shown me, the actions towards me only prove that you're happier without me. We kept on silently hurting each other. Enough is enough I guess. It's like the thread is hanging... When you see a thread hanging off your t-shirt, what do you do with it? You cut it off. I know the first few months will be hard, but I know it won't be long before you find another. I'm sorry if I can never be good enough for you, I'm not perfect, you'll find the perfect one for you. What is hard is that I'm not only going to lose a lover, but I'll lose my best friend. I'm okay with people thinking it's me who have the issues, and that I'm so cruel for hanging you all this time, I don't need to prove anything to anyone, but here's to let you know that I really do want to make it official, and that we were just waiting for the right date to make it official. So here's my farewell gift to you, go to 80DaysToForever.tumblr.com/page/11, it will explain everything, and the link will direct you to the first page ever since I made it. Oh, you'll be needing a password, the password is the date on which we plan to make it official. All numbers, 8 numbers total. You'll get it, just like everything else you do in your life, you'll figure it out. And I don't usually say this, but you know me well enough that I mean it... I love you. I'm doing this so you'll find someone better, much better than me, by then I hope she makes you happy. I'm not asking you to remember me, I know you well enough that you have the ability to forget easily, take it to your advantage, I just want a fragment of our memory for you to keep, like Nirvana, a place of our escape, or how smooth Valentine went, or those little serendipity moments like when we accidentally raised our hands together when we're watching Sondre Lerche at Java Jazz, those things you can't get back no matter how much you want to, or how much you wish you'd have someone else you want to share it with. Can't wait until I see it all happening, until I see all your dreams come true. Thank you for such an amazing 10 months, we never were official, but I had the time of my life.

Often times we say goodbye to the one we love without wanting to but that doesn't mean we stop loving them. Sometimes goodbye is just a painful way of saying I love you.
I'll say it again for you, I really do, love you.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Turut bersedih Nadia :'(

Nadia Juliana said...

Thank you...
:'):'):')