Love and Loss

Certainly two things we’re all familiar with. We must have been through either one, or if you’re lucky enough to experience both, then I guess you must be remarkably trusted by the Man From Above that you are capable to handle them. I recently lost my Uncle-- who is the husband of my Mother’s sister-- not too long ago, precisely a week before Christmas. The death was so sudden that it really caught the whole family off guard, for the reason for his death itself didn’t really seem lucid to me. It wasn’t because of age, for he was only 52 at the time he passed. It wasn’t because of a long-term illness, for he only complained of feeling a little unwell a day before his death. Then again, nobody really knows when their time will come.

A week before the loss, I also attended a funeral of a good friend of mine’s relative, which was also a mournful, terrible loss. It’s never easy to say goodbye. I mean, who’s ever ready to see the person they love for one last time? If you could do something about farewell, you would probably do anything for another chance to have them in your life. You’re beginning to realize just how much you haven’t embrace their presence in your life, when they were still alive. They were indeed, a part of your family.

I remember a man said, “You don’t even know about my family. My family put the ‘funk’ in dysfunctional.” I understand what he’s saying. No family is ever perfect. Some of them might even be incomplete. But even we are satisfied with our choice of friends, right? Friends are our right to choose, clearly, we’re satisfied with the selection of people in our daily lives. Now we’re talking about family here. Family is chosen for us, by God. You might think God misplaced you some place, that you’re not meant to be in the family you’re in, or you have a better idea of the “ideal family,” but guess what, there is always a plan hidden somewhere. It’s not because God thought to Himself, “Hmm, I’ve run out of good families, I think this little fella wouldn’t mind Me placing him in this delusional and psychotic family.” No. It is because of great amount of love. Nothing is an accident. Even things that might seem like an accident, was actually a planned scenario. I know, God might seem a little tricky. But trust me, He always has something up His sleeves. It is not easy; to look at it that way. Especially if you think that your life is miserable enough-- you just lost someone, you feel depressed-- that you can’t do anything about it. Yes, you’re right. You can’t do anything about it. Death, loss, failures; you can never do anything about it. Like the choice of members in your family, you can do absolutely nothing about it. Why? Because it was not yours to take care of. You might row the boat as hard as you could, but if the wind and current are against you, it doesn’t take you far.

So let go of the things you can’t change and start with the things that you can do something about. If you can’t change the people or situation around you, change the way you see things. If you’re holding onto something that doesn’t drive you to become a better person, then let go. It’s better to let go of things that do your life harm than to hold onto the things that would drag you down. The choice is yours to choose.

keep the faith

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