Reality Is Real

Everyone have those moments. When they doubt if it's the right thing or not. Where they feel a little out of place. And they feel like no one understands them. Where they don't feel in sync with everyone else. Pain caused us that much security of ourselves. We think love would be perfect but it won't. It's naive of us to think otherwise. Sometimes I wonder because it's not what I pictured in the first place. Sometimes I even feel numb. But real love is just that-- it's real. It's real pain. It's reality. So that sums up to the definition of true love. It's just that, too. It's true. Sometimes we don't dare to be honest to our feelings because the truth is too hard to swallow. Because you've heard the promises before. You've heard all the nonsense you've believed before. Everything-- was exactly the same. Even donkeys don't fall in the same hole twice and you're just being as careful and attentive so you won't make the same mistake twice. Because apologies don't always mean instant healing. You should remember that the most important thing is yourself. Sometimes you just don't have to think about what other people think or say about you. Or your relationship. Relationships are not about looking cute together or who looks better with who. It's ridiculous to listen to what they have to say because people can never know what you go through. They think they do, but they don't know how it feels like to be you. It's not like what you see in movies. Or what you read in those books. Because those things are made by humans. They're a way of escaping reality. But reality means pain. And pain is good sometimes. Pain means you're living. Living means you're growing. And sometimes you won't know if it's really love until it's over. But everything that is good, can be bad for you too. Because once something is taking a lot of your attention, then it's certainly taken a part of your life. Like raising pets for example. But it's a lot more than that, of course. Much more. You're worried because you simply don't want to end. You don't want it to end because if it ends, you're hurt. Love makes you vulnerable, doesn't it? Like the littlest things can cause the biggest fuss. It will cause you to struggle, and it will-- sooner or later-- make you feel like you've barely survived. But every seed has to die first, for the flower to flourish. Because lust doesn't mean love. Near doesn't mean close. Far doesn't always mean distant. New doesn't always mean exciting. Different doesn't always mean better. And putting up with the future doesn't mean you're ready for it. So is letting go. Moving on is not as easy as taking off the frames of the wall and packing them inside the boxes. Or as easy as getting rid of all the teddy bears, flowers and concert tickets that came along with it. At the end, you'll realize it's harder than you think. And the good memories-- the good ol' times are going to be easier to remember. Don't rely on sparks because they'll become bombs at the end-- and when it's gone, it's gone. It’s easy to take off all of your clothes and get naked. Some people do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams... That’s my definition of getting intimate. Maybe what sucked was because in the back of your mind, you had the perfect picture of how it's going to be. You wished that they've known what you've wanted. You wish that when you said you didn't want to go, they'd still wanted you to go. You wish that when you hung up, they'd call you. You wish that when you turn your back, they come chasing after you. There's never a guarantee if the person you're with will be there for the rest of your life. There is not, nor ever will there be, the perfect man or woman. It's you who can make love last for a lifetime. I know people keep asking if he or she is the one, but you'll never know. But what you know is that you intend to make him or her the only one. And that's enough. Then again, in the future, their actions may hurt you and maybe you question if it's worth it. But if it ends at some point, you're going to get hurt even more. It's going to hurt because it matters. It matters because when you began, you didn't think, you feel. You just jump right in. But when you look back, you'll realize that it gets better every time. Stronger, tougher, smarter. So don't worry if someone good missed out on your best, there's always someone better.

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Come To Pass, Come Too Fast

"All men fear death. It's a natural fear that consumes us all. We fear death because we feel that we haven't loved well enough or loved at all, which ultimately are one and the same. However, when you make love with a truly great woman, one that deserves the utmost respect in this world and one that makes you feel truly powerful, that fear of death completely disappears. Because when you are sharing your body and heart with a great woman the world fades away. You two are the only ones in the entire universe. You conquer what most lesser men have conquered before, you have conquered a great woman's heart. Death no longer lingers in the mind. Fear no longer clouds your heart. Only passion for living, and for loving, become your sole reality. This is no easy task, for it takes insurmountable courage. But remember this, for that moment when you are making love with a woman of true greatness, you feel immortal."

The quote above was from a movie that had instantly slid to one of the top spot of my favorite movie list in 2012. I saw Midnight in Paris yesterday. Wanted to write a review the minute I walked out the cinema because I was in a major mind-blown state of shock. As if you can't fall in love with the endearing face of Owen Wilson and the chick-flick queen Rachel McAdams (Oh how can you not love The Notebook!), the movie was set to film in Paris. You would quickly fall head over heels for the city the minute the movie starts, it began with a set of breathtaking views from the City of Romance itself. If you've never been to Paris, it makes you feel like you wanted to book the next flight scheduled to depart-- and if you have, you would still want to book the next flight scheduled to depart. The movie wasn't at all heavy drama, but it's not considered as comedy either, it was a good balance of both. And the movie was about the life of a writer! How could I possibly fall in love with the movie any deeper?

Gil (Wilson) was a writer who came to Paris with fiancé, Inez (McAdams), for a trip with Inez's parents who happened to flew there for a business trip. They accidentally came across Frank-- who Inez had a crush on back in the days-- alongside his wife, who also visited Paris for a different purpose. Despite the chain of events that happened in Paris, Gil just wasn't into the whole going-out-and-having-fun. He was a little off from the rest of the group, so to speak. So he finds time to write his novel that he's been working on, and by chance, he 'time-travel' back to the early 20s when he met his idols such as Hemingway, Fitzgerald and even Picasso. That was when the story really began.

In his search for certainty of the future, he came to the past. As his passion for writing grew, his affection towards his fiancé, Inez, slowly faded away. Gil even found a new woman that he had fell for as he was having this back and forth trip to the past, her name was Adriana (Cotillard), who seemed to seek pleasure in being "the other woman" on plenty of other men's relationships. She was a real stunner, that's for sure and I guess what went wrong was because Gil had chosen what looked like an open option. The minute he chose the other woman, Adriana, is the minute where his chance to get back with Inez decreased by a mile. On the other hand, Inez wasn't really the good angel either. She showed interest towards Frank-- although they both were happily in love, or at least I thought that they were-- which made it much more complicated than I thought it was.

The cast itself was superb, Marion Cotillard, Léa Seydoux (who I recently saw in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and I personally think she will be an actress to be on the watch in future films), Kathy Bates and a special appearance by Adrien Brody. The movie taught me about doing things that you love and maybe looking through life every now and then on who should stay and who should go. Life, from the beginning, was never certain, so might as well just live with it and do what you love and everything will follow. Happiness, money, even love. Every goodbye is going to reward you with another hello.

"That's what the present is. It's a little unsatisfying. Because life's a little unsatisfying."

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Treat your girl right, bro. Plain and simple.

I know it can be hard to please her sometimes, but it’s worth it in the end. Remember that she’s your happiness, your world. She should be the first person you talk to in the morning, and the last person you whisper “Good night” to. Unlike some of your bros, she’s going to be there for you when you’re the happiest, but more importantly, when you’re at your lowest. She’ll cook for you and care for you, so treat her like a queen. Girls are delicate creatures. Think before you say. Think before you act. They take every little mistake you make and multiply it by a thousand. So try not to mess up, aight? When you’re fighting, sometimes it’s better to put your relationship before your own pride. You’re not helping yourself by making her upset, bro. And never, ever, under any condition, let her go to sleep crying. She’ll resent you for it for the rest of your days. Don’t forget to make her feel special everyday. Open doors, go shopping with her. Hell, make dinner for her! The more you show her you love her, the more she’ll give you in return. Remember that an “I love you” via text is never as special as one in person. And show her off to your bros, don’t be ashamed of her. She’s never been ashamed of your dorky ass. Look, she doesn’t really need much in a relationship; she just wants to feel like she matters to you. That’s not asking for much, bro.
But if you haven’t learned a thing from reading this, remember this. Love her unconditionally, loyally, and keep her close. Love her with everything you’ve got: emotionally, mentally, and physically. Because I swear, if you won’t treat your girl right, someone else definitely will.

(via Facebook)

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The Awakening

Recent Song On Play: I Won't Give Up- Jason Mraz
Sunday, 22 January 2012

Getting something is easier than keeping it. I learned that we have to be optimistic. In life, reality bites sometimes. You know that giving up means you forgot why you do it in the first place. Some things take a lot more effort because they worth that much more. Differences make us beautiful, because even the most melodious harmony are made up of various instruments. You try in life because you believe. I realized that some things won't always be like how you want it to be, deal with it and remember other things in life that went right. You're hurt because you finally sacrificed for something with value.

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. You begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.

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Even Love Fades Away

I bruise you. You bruise me. We both bruise so easily. Too easily.

Never fall in love? Then you never really lived. 'Cause you never experienced real pain to begin with. I started off ignorant. A little too careful of my fragile heart. And then I didn't know what happened, I kind of opened up. Little, by little. Then I realized I was kind of falling. Slowly... A little too slow that I didn't really feel significant changes, but surely, I was falling.
At first I didn't look forward to meeting you. But silly little heart of mine thought you deserve a chance. I used to be skeptical... About this love thing. I guess I let myself loose? Then it went a little out of control. I guess that's what happens when you let your guards down? I think this would be different, even after all the same things that occurred, but I wanted to believe otherwise.
I don't know what went wrong. I guess you got me in the palm of your hands. That's when we just stopped trying I guess. We don't bother seeing each other. Not as much as we used to. We usually Skype a lot. Now we barely even... Talk. It used to be... A lot of fun, to say the least?

Endings always come too fast. They come too fast. And they pass too slow.

I used to go out with you for the sake of going out with you. Now it's different. Now I look forward to seeing you. And all you used to say was that you wanted to see me... All the time. You used to be the one chasing after me. Now it's all different. I always ended up being the one who cares a little more. And maybe that's why I ended up getting hurt. Over and over. I tried telling you what I want. What I need from you. But it's like you just don't get it. I want to understand you. But I want to be understood as well. I felt it. I felt it all changing. The texts, they got much shorter. The meet-ups even got more brief. We just lost what we had at the first place. I used to be your priority. You would do everything for me. Now it almost felt like I have to beg and plead for your attention. I'm the one sleepless waiting for you to call. I'm the one tossing and turning missing you. Why? We used to talk nonstop. We wouldn't stop sending messages 'cause we just don't want to stop. Now we just... Stopped. It's an irony, really. How I see it all changing. How I can see the difference from time to time.
Sometimes I thought to myself that I deserve better treatment than this. I told myself that it's the last straw, but it's like I kept giving you chances, over and over and over. Every time I wanna end it, I ask myself again, "Do I really love him?" And my answer-- that's what made me stay. But I realized... I just have to love myself enough that I'm ready to walk away. I feel like I make the extra effort now.

It's a fine line between the darkness and the dawn.

I don't need to see you every day. I don't need to receive your texts every time. I don't need to hear the phone ringing from you all the time. But you need to know, I'm not a mind reader. I need to know that I'm on your mind, because honestly, you're always on mine. I just miss you, that's all.
What ever happened to "You're worth it?" What ever happened to that? What ever happened to "I promise I'll be there"? Were you just happy when you say all those things?
It's not called expectation, because I'm being realistic. I just want to be acknowledged. You had so much to offer when we first begun, and it's like now there's just none. I knew what it felt like to be your priority, and that faded away.
Don't love me if you're going to end up hurting me. I used to be so strong, now I cry so much, I don't even know what's wrong. It was bullshit after bullshit after bullshit, we just argue and it hurts me. Before you want or demand anything more, see just how much you own and how much you could have lost, then maybe you'll know how much you have in life. I feel like I'm dying inside. Little by little. I feel numb. I don't miss you, I don't think about you, I just stopped caring I guess. I realized how much I've cared and how unappreciated I felt. And then I realized that I just have to love myself enough to walk away. Just be done with you. I mean, I know I'm not perfect... But I love you, with all my heart, I do. I guess I'm not as tough. Or at least, I thought I was enough.

I love you. And that's all I know.

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Best Of The Best!

I've been reading all the posts I've written in the past year. Sometimes I surprise myself just how much I can come up with. Funny how all this bull got me through tough times, I found bits of myself when I lost my mind in the making. How much I understood things in an instant, found my epiphany, got my heart broken, and then goes back to my nostalgic past. What's more wonderful is when people understand what I go through, it's almost felt like my posts where there for a purpose. And for that very second, my writings came alive. One of my favorite quotes is something I got from the serial TV Heroes, "It's important to remember, no matter how much you want to forget."

So here is my favorite posts that I wrote from 2011 (in no particular order), feel free to check them all out and tell me what might be your fave. (Click on the title to read the post!)


Dummy2Dummy Guide 'Skills Schmills!'

Here is one of my favorite posts from early 2011. It's basically about some useful tips (which I certainly made up) that might make you want to start writing. I do believe writings can make big differences, that's why books are windows the imagination! Why not start writing now?

Happy Ending
This is one of those honest posts I made from a random thought that came up. Typical me, I usually just write the highlights and expand them as I write. It doesn't really matter if it's long or short, if I'm happy with however it turned out, it's good enough for me.

The Three (Ever-So-Famous) Status
THIS IS PROBABLY MY ALL TIME FAVORITE. One of those moments where I went back and I go like, "Whoa! I wrote that?!" I can't even believe it myself, to be honest. I'm pretty sure most of us-- in fact, all of us-- must have experienced either one.

What's There To Love?
This is one of those moments in life where I just feel like maybe life is not worth living, for always feeling not good enough. I guess words can never describe how you really feel. Have you ever felt that way too?

The Sweetest Revenge

One of those posts that also came from random thinking. Sometimes my brain is misleading, but then again I feel that some of the points coming from it can be amazing. It's about how to get even with people who hurt you. A little curious of what I came up with, maybe? ;)

Do Us Part
This is dedicated to a friend of mine who had lost her boyfriend from a tragic accident. It wasn't an easy post to make.

Someone Like You
This is a random poem I came up with. Hope you like it :)

Don't You Get It?

The inner girl just came rushing through to me. She kinda speaks out for herself and she knows that other girls experience it too. Come on, girls. We all get a little envious sometimes.

Why You Suck
Another heartfelt that I feel like writing. Turns out people can relate to my lovey dovey posts. I guess because everyone must have experienced such thing?

Dreams Are For Losers
One of the poems I made when I was feeling blue. I guess writing is a good alternative. I feel like I can be myself. I write even better when I'm depressed. This is a healthy rehab for me.


So from all the posts that you've read on my blog, what could possibly be your favorite? Don't be shy to tell me why! Feedbacks are always welcomed :)


keep the faith
xoxox

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Don't Stop Believing

I got this song stuck in my head for the whole day. I got some good news that I can't really share to the whole world to, but would love to maybe in the future, before that though, in the time being, let's have some fun in 2012! Why the sad faces? It's 2012, b*tches!

...oh yeah, right, PG-13.
Sorry I got carried away...

Crazy how insecure we can be sometimes. I mean everyone is good at something, but when someone is better at what we do, we're just ready to bury our head beneath the ground, not really sure if we wanna do it anymore. But hey, never underestimate what a person is capable in doing, you'll never know where they'll end up in a few years time. I mean, what are you afraid of? Not good enough? Don't look good? We have all you need to survive this cruel and agonizing life, just call 0800-1234-5555 (Baha, kidding). This is anything but an advertisement post, it's actually something I've been wanting to post but never really had any idea if it will do anyone good. So here it goes!

Jessica Alba, Anne Hathaway, Zac Efron, we all know the glitz and glam of Hollywood. But they, too, have their ugly days in the past. Who'd knew that they'll end up being the people they are now. Look at these celebs back in the days!

Oh yes... A New Day Has (indeed) Come for Celine Dion.

Who'd knew that this little missy would be a Bond girl?

Would you really think she can land a role in Moulin Rouge?
Too chubby for it?
...yeah, thought so too.
She can be proof that life is a little unfair. Cute kid, hot adult. You can have it all!

This little cutie is Catherine Zeta Jones!

This little squirt look like Stuart Little to me.
But look at him now! Yes, that's Zac Efron!
Who would have guessed that George Clooney looked like this in High School?!
I seriously need to get in touch with the nerds in my High School!
This Matrix-like picture is actually the actor of the movie Matrix himself, Keanu Reeves!
Well honestly... Not the cutest kid in school. But now, hot hunky chunk chunk in Hollywood!
Hopefully Kate had never thought of drowning herself in the blue seas knowing that face would get her the starring role of Titanic!


Seeing the pictures above give you some sort of hope, right? Or well, if they don't... At least you know that life is fair after all! Now look at yourself in the mirror and say... "I need a nose job."

...kidding!



keep the faith
xoxox

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