Even Love Fades Away

I bruise you. You bruise me. We both bruise so easily. Too easily.

Never fall in love? Then you never really lived. 'Cause you never experienced real pain to begin with. I started off ignorant. A little too careful of my fragile heart. And then I didn't know what happened, I kind of opened up. Little, by little. Then I realized I was kind of falling. Slowly... A little too slow that I didn't really feel significant changes, but surely, I was falling.
At first I didn't look forward to meeting you. But silly little heart of mine thought you deserve a chance. I used to be skeptical... About this love thing. I guess I let myself loose? Then it went a little out of control. I guess that's what happens when you let your guards down? I think this would be different, even after all the same things that occurred, but I wanted to believe otherwise.
I don't know what went wrong. I guess you got me in the palm of your hands. That's when we just stopped trying I guess. We don't bother seeing each other. Not as much as we used to. We usually Skype a lot. Now we barely even... Talk. It used to be... A lot of fun, to say the least?

Endings always come too fast. They come too fast. And they pass too slow.

I used to go out with you for the sake of going out with you. Now it's different. Now I look forward to seeing you. And all you used to say was that you wanted to see me... All the time. You used to be the one chasing after me. Now it's all different. I always ended up being the one who cares a little more. And maybe that's why I ended up getting hurt. Over and over. I tried telling you what I want. What I need from you. But it's like you just don't get it. I want to understand you. But I want to be understood as well. I felt it. I felt it all changing. The texts, they got much shorter. The meet-ups even got more brief. We just lost what we had at the first place. I used to be your priority. You would do everything for me. Now it almost felt like I have to beg and plead for your attention. I'm the one sleepless waiting for you to call. I'm the one tossing and turning missing you. Why? We used to talk nonstop. We wouldn't stop sending messages 'cause we just don't want to stop. Now we just... Stopped. It's an irony, really. How I see it all changing. How I can see the difference from time to time.
Sometimes I thought to myself that I deserve better treatment than this. I told myself that it's the last straw, but it's like I kept giving you chances, over and over and over. Every time I wanna end it, I ask myself again, "Do I really love him?" And my answer-- that's what made me stay. But I realized... I just have to love myself enough that I'm ready to walk away. I feel like I make the extra effort now.

It's a fine line between the darkness and the dawn.

I don't need to see you every day. I don't need to receive your texts every time. I don't need to hear the phone ringing from you all the time. But you need to know, I'm not a mind reader. I need to know that I'm on your mind, because honestly, you're always on mine. I just miss you, that's all.
What ever happened to "You're worth it?" What ever happened to that? What ever happened to "I promise I'll be there"? Were you just happy when you say all those things?
It's not called expectation, because I'm being realistic. I just want to be acknowledged. You had so much to offer when we first begun, and it's like now there's just none. I knew what it felt like to be your priority, and that faded away.
Don't love me if you're going to end up hurting me. I used to be so strong, now I cry so much, I don't even know what's wrong. It was bullshit after bullshit after bullshit, we just argue and it hurts me. Before you want or demand anything more, see just how much you own and how much you could have lost, then maybe you'll know how much you have in life. I feel like I'm dying inside. Little by little. I feel numb. I don't miss you, I don't think about you, I just stopped caring I guess. I realized how much I've cared and how unappreciated I felt. And then I realized that I just have to love myself enough to walk away. Just be done with you. I mean, I know I'm not perfect... But I love you, with all my heart, I do. I guess I'm not as tough. Or at least, I thought I was enough.

I love you. And that's all I know.

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